Just A Little Off Kilter....

Happy Friday ☺

In less than two months I turn 42 and I have a few thoughts on turning 42... There are people who will tell you that you are only as old as you feel. These are the same people who swear that you are not 40+ years old, but rather 40+ years young. They are forever saying things like, “Aging is a state of mind.” All I can say is this...those people must have been born with some amazing genetics because they apparently don’t feel as old as I do. Yes, you are only as old as you feel and, at some point between age 30 something and 40 something, my body started to feel old. I’m starting to think of my hip bone, my low back, and my feet in the same way some people think of cherished family members who just can’t seem to pull their lives together. There are stages in life when you want time to speed up. When you are a kid waiting for Santa on Christmas morning (or in my case...waiting for Halloween and all it's candy glory), a teen waiting for age 16 and a driver’s license, a young adult wa

Winston Elbrige Burlock

Whether you are saying goodbye to someone you love, someone you have met briefly, someone who has touched your life through their story or someone who has been a big part of your life in some way, it’s not easy. People very often say that once someone has died after an illness, that it’s good that they are no longer in pain. I for one am a big believer of this. I have to be. I want to believe that Winston and Poppy are somewhere up there feeling young and free, and out of the terrible state of pain that was so much a part of their life...especially at the end. I want to believe that they are both up in heaven, happily chatting away to the loved ones that arrived before them, free of pain and getting instructions on how they are now going to look after everyone still earth side who need her guidance. I want to believe that Frank (Poppy) is strolling hand in hand with his beloved Joan Joseph and that Winston is enjoying a beer and a laugh as I smile down here at the recollection of f

"Loss alters life.  And life carries on, with all the agony that suggests." Saturday night we lost someone very near and dear to our family to cancer. This man had a profound impact on my life and was like a second father to me. My parents had been friends with him and his family for over forty years. Many of my fondest childhood memories included him. Some of the best stories centered around him and his enduring playful sense of humor. In short...he was incredible. It has been a few years since I had seen him. Life, as always, has been a bit hectic since welcoming Lochlan.  I wish with every fiber of my being that I had made the effort to see him more. "Could have" and “should have” are immediate alternates when finding words to write about such dark moments. One learns a few more things about oneself, and it occurred to me while thinking about Winston and reflecting on another year without my Poppy. I think I’ve learned some lessons from their loss.  Further,

Dear Lochlan James,  My sweet baby boy...except you're not a baby anymore.  This is what you are, my darling boy. A person, the size of life. You have big finger paint hand prints and a big grownup head that you squeeze through a 2T shirt  all by yourself. You tell jokes. "I am going to throw you in the rubarb"! as we jump on the trampoline and will then say "I just kidding, I just playing a joke". You run away from a Mama Monster. You hide and seek (mostly hide and then reveal yourself shortly thereafter.) You elaborate. "When, when, when it's the weekend and no work today, no Sarah's today (daycare), I stay home and watch Blippi on my iPad and I can have my favorite cookies and when it gets warm out we can, we can play with my water table. You remember my water table Mama? And we can put bubbles wit soap in dare and then jump on the trampoline". You sing full songs with perfect pitch. "Down by the bay. Where the watermelons gro

In my bathroom there is a jar of body cream. It sits untouched on the top shelf.   I’ve had it for about two and a half years now. I think it was a present to myself  not long after the birth of  Lochlan in an attempt to make myself feel better about my post baby body.   Year after year it just sits there. Waiting to be used.   Occasionally I glance at it.   Should I? No, I better not. It’s the good cream. It’s only for special occasions.   Just what kind of special occasion I’m waiting for, I don’t really know.   A  date with Nathan Fillion? A dinner date with Kate and William? My own private Blue Rodeo performance? A visit from the Prime Minister? So why won’t I use that cream? Is my sub-conscious telling me that I’m not good enough for the good cream? Or is my sub-conscious actually being optimistic, telling me to hold out for the amazing good-cream-worthy events that are surely about to happen in my life? What I do know is that if I don’t use the good cream soon

You know, it’s been quite a long time since I made a blog post. In fact, it's been 607 days or... 52,444,800 seconds 874,080 minutes 14,568 hours 607 days 86 weeks and 5 days I wasn’t too sure how to feel about it at first, but then I realised I didn’t like it. This is the very front of my site and it’s not been updated in 607 days? Not cool Janet, not cool at all. So I thought “I should make a new blog post”, but I didn’t have anything much I wanted to say. I mean I do. A lot has happened in 607 days. Lochlan is 607 days older. I started a new job. I became an Auntie to my first nephew. Lots of life lived with stories to tell from the past 607 days but where do I start? At which point from the last 607 days do I start with? So I thought, “Maybe my first blog post in 607 days can be totally pointless” and it turns out I’m totally fine with this. This is the first step to a welcome back. If you read this, you wasted your time, but at least my blog has a recent