Just A Little Off Kilter....

“How about We are the Champions?” he asks. “Loch, I’m a little tired of listening to Queen. Is there something else you’d like to hear?” I say, glancing at him in the rearview mirror. “How about Billy Idol?” he asks. “You got it,” I say, tuning to track one on the album and turning up the volume. I knew some day my son would start bossing me around, but I wasn’t prepared for it to happen before three. He sits back there in his car seat, singing along, pausing to point out every truck, excavator, dump truck, and city bus (articulated and regular, the difference is important) along our route, happy until he decides that he’d like to listen to "Somebody to Love" like now. Before the age of eighteen months, Lochlan didn’t have much in the way of opinions, aside from his disdain for tummy time, store bought milk, and socks. Except for the 27-pound stroller, the bulky infant car seat, and a bag filled with supplies we might need during a one-hour shopping trip to the mall, it was e...

I’m not terribly skilled in the art of social graces. Well, hang on. Let me be clear. I’m definitely not a public belcher, farter or nose picker. I also know which fork to use and that one should eat with one’s mouth closed. So I get the basics right. But it’s the art of greeting people that has me in a flap lately...especially when an unexpected double kiss left me reeling like a newborn deer in high heels on a frozen pond. On greeting the unbeknown double kisser, I went in for the humble single cheek peck. The airy kind, nice and dry, accompanied by the ‘gentle hand on one shoulder’ move, more for the sake of keeping my balance than anything else. Single cheek peck completed, I pulled away from the unbeknown double kisser, re-centering my balance.But then I saw his face coming towards me again. For a moment, time stood still as I registered what was happening. The unbeknown double kisser hovered awkwardly on his front foot, his second cheek presented, patiently waiting for me to fini...

If one more of my friend tells me they need to lose weight now I will slap them... with love, of course. Because I just want to shake them (with love) and tell them, “Do you not need to lose weight. You're beautiful!” And I would shout this (with love), from the rooftops. If you want to lose weight for health reasons, then go ahead. My point is that no one should feel that they have to, simply because we're in the midst of bathing suit season. Can you imagine if we all just said, “screw it, we’re fabulous” and didn’t get in “bikini body shape?” It would be awesome. Because think of all the amazing things it can do for you It walks. It dances. It runs. It digests food for you. It lets you dream. It gives you eyelids so you don’t have stuff stuck in your eyes all the time. Sounds way basic, huh? Who cares. You have to start appreciating your body somewhere. Appreciate your arms and your legs, because some people don’t have those, and would kill for your arms that you dislike for ...

Today is my parents 47th wedding anniversary. That’s right. For forty seven years they have been roommates, confidants, companions, shopping buddies, travel partners, support-systems, and teammates. In short, they are the best kind of best friends. They raised five children, watched eight grandchildren grow from infants to self-sufficient young adults and one awesome little toddler, and they love to visit with and hear stories about their grandchildren. They are the centerpiece of every family gathering. All of the joy and generosity they put into loving all of us has multiplied exponentially, trickling down to our youngest family member, who often says: “We FaceTime Nanny and Poppy now!” As a unit, they have an awesome power. I don’t think I know anyone who doesn’t smile at the sound of their names or who doesn’t think they are just the greatest. They are a fixture of most of my happiest memories, and they are often the source of some of the funniest stories I have to tell. They are ...

Since it’s my birthday today, I figured I’d compile a little list of just a few of the most important things I’ve learned thus far in my forty two years. So here’s what I got... You are going to get criticized no matter what you do, so do your thing. Honestly, this is number one for a reason. No matter where I’ve been in life, people have criticized me. If I had listened to every piece of negative feedback, I’d be like sitting in a dark cellar counting flies on the wall, drooling. We’ve all been criticized at one time or another. You have to do what you have do, and either way someone, somewhere will have something to say. If you don’t want to be criticized, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing. There is no such things as fair or unfair. Things are what they are. I keep the words ‘fair’ and ‘unfair’ out of my vocabulary. You make your own life, your own destiny, and your own future. You can get what you can get, or you don’t. Life isn’t fair or unfair, unless you cultivate that. Focus o...

A paper cut is a tree's last revenge.