Forty Two Years

Since it’s my birthday today, I figured I’d compile a little list of just a few of the most important things I’ve learned thus far in my forty two years.

So here’s what I got...

You are going to get criticized no matter what you do, so do your thing.
Honestly, this is number one for a reason. No matter where I’ve been in life, people have criticized me. If I had listened to every piece of negative feedback, I’d be like sitting in a dark cellar counting flies on the wall, drooling. We’ve all been criticized at one time or another. You have to do what you have do, and either way someone, somewhere will have something to say. If you don’t want to be criticized, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.

There is no such things as fair or unfair.
Things are what they are. I keep the words ‘fair’ and ‘unfair’ out of my vocabulary. You make your own life, your own destiny, and your own future. You can get what you can get, or you don’t. Life isn’t fair or unfair, unless you cultivate that. Focus on moving forward and don’t worry about what other people are doing…“stay in your own lane!”

No one is going to do anything for you.
If you want something to happen, get off your ass and make it happen. A fairy godmother isn’t going to come create a dream career for you because you think you deserve it. Life is what you make of it. If you want your dream career, go for it. It’s not going to fall into your lap. If you want to do good in the world, then do good. Opportunities don’t just fall from the sky, you have to make it happen.

Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gets you nowhere.
Worrying is pointless. Pointless. What’s the point of worrying? Whenever I start worrying about something I cannot control, I shift my focus. Life is going to flow how it flows.

Being an asshole gets you nowhere. Be nice.
We’ve all been there. I had a moment where I was in the grocery store a few months back. I was grumpy, irritable, & annoyed at something going on. When I got to the register, I snapped at the young man working because he was taking a long time. Immediately I regretted it and guilt consumed my whole body so I apologized sincerely. I still go to that grocery store and if he's working, I make a point of going to his lane and now we’ve become friendly. Being a bitch is nasty. Smile, be gracious, be kind, and be humble.

You cannot change people.
This is probably the hardest thing ever for me. For years I would try to control the outcome of family drama, friendships, work, etc. This year I’ve realized that ‘it is, what it is’. Me trying to control the situation and change people into something they’re not is counterproductive and pointless. It’s a waste of breath. People are who they are. This year I’ve become more accepting…especially because you never know the whole story. People are set in their ways for their own reasons.


and lastly...

You never know.
Don’t judge until you’ve walked in someone’s shoes. People assume they know everything about me because a lot of my life is documented through social media. They don’t. In fact, they don’t know 80% of my past or my life. I have had many bumps in the road. Many. No one has seen all of my struggles and that’s just fine with me but to judge without knowing isn’t logical. Life online looks flawless, #blessed, and glamourous. Don’t judge a book by its cover because you never know.

Obviously this is a list of things that I need to work on daily because I’m not perfect by any means and need daily reminders. Really, it just kind of helps to write these reminders down. I’m not preaching...just sharing and again, do what works for you.

What would you add to this?