Just A Little Off Kilter....

The older my children get, I find myself...with increasing frequency, starting sentences with a phrase I thought I’d never say: “When I was your age…” Yup, nothing says you’re old like those words, which have been uttered by old people since the Industrial Revolution. Usually, “when I was your age” serves as a cop-out for my cheapness. I say things like, “When I was your age, I only had two shoes” (commonly known as one pair), or “When I was your age, we only had four channels, and one of them was in French. ” But there is one statement that I wish to shout from a roof top. It is: “When I was your age, the toys were better.” If you look at some of the top toys on this years Christmas wish lists, you see cheap plastic crap that I am loathe to buy for Lochlan. I miss the toys of my childhood, all of which I wish my parents still had. Yes, with five children, had they kept our toys, they would now have a moderate-sized toy collection, a Narnia closet leading to Fisher Price Land, that wo...

Lochlan is still spending a great deal of energy examining the male/female thing. We are in the car on our way home from daycare. “Daddy has a penis?” Loch asks. “Yes.” “I have a penis?” “Yes you do.” “Does Poppy have a penis?” “Yes.” “You don’t have a penis.” “No, I do not.” “Do Marshall, Rocky and Zuma have a penis?” “Um, no.” “But Marshall, Rocky and Zuma are boys. They have a penis.” “Marshall, Rocky and Zuma are pretend, not boys.” “Marshall, Rocky and Zuma are boys. They have a boy penis! They are not pretend! I saw them on my iPad!" “I’m sorry, you’re right. The Paw Patrollers have a penis.” “Bob the Builder? Does Bob the Builder have a penis?” “Uh… yes?” "Where do they keep their penis" "Ummmm" "I know...in the lookout and garage" "Sounds about right Lochlan"

Hey guys. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? In fact, it's been: 126 days, 0 hours, 0 minutes and 0 seconds can be converted to one of these units: 10,886,400 seconds 181,440 minutes 3024 hours 126 days 18 weeks 34.52% of 2018 That's quiet a long time and I’m sorry about that. This blog post is one of my first ones after a long four months plus break. I left my so-called ‘baby’ for so long due to many reasons...work, family, exhaustion and most of all, lack of self-motivation. And I quickly realized motivating yourself to keep on blogging is not the hardest part. Coming back with "bags of enthusiasm", new ideas, and most of all...grasping the fact that your own work has been left out there for so long was the most difficult thing. I had this weird feeling of guilt that I failed myself, my 'own thing' wasn’t going to be successful and so cool anymore. I do have a number of posts swirling around in my head. Some funny (to me at least), some serious and some about ...

This is what happens as far as blogging goes when you feel like you’ve been sick forever and you’re shooting back cold meds on a regular basis just to get through the day. Needless to say, there’s been a lot of sleepless nights and toddler snot. Lots o’ toddler snot. When Lochlan first got sick I was covered in it but not as much now, thank goodness. But seeing as how I’m still scrubbing off the layers of snot from Lochlan's runny nose, here are just a few of the places he loves to wipe it. Lets get this party started. The cats – Our cat Catalina gets it worse than our little kitty Kayleigh and there have been several times when I’ve caught Loch nose diving into Catalina and wiping his nose across the side of her. He’ll also go in for a kiss on top of the cat’s head and smear it in between her ears. Catalina is always a trooper and just lets him wipe away. My pillow – This is usually the first place Loch will snot up when he’s getting sick. It’s normally in the middle of the night ...

This past Saturday was National Chocolate Cake Day. To be honest, I am more than happy to celebrate any National Day when the day includes delicious dessert. In my efforts to eat less sugar and do more yoga (post coming about this soon), I been off the Beyond the Batter cupcakes for a few weeks now but when I read it was National Chocolate Cake Day, I knew we needed to celebrate this glorious day so I headed to Beyond the Batter and bought a couple of chocolate cupcakes (they count, right?) and planned to attack it after dinner. Lochlan specifically requested a candle, which I thought was the perfect touch, and after yelling “Happy Chocolate Cake Day,” and making a wish, the treat was divided, and we dove into the decadence. “Mama,” Loch whispered after taking a few, hesitant bites, “I don’t know if I like chocolate cake.” My mouth was already stuffed with my portion of 440 calorie heaven, so struggled to get out the words, “That’s okay Loch.” To be fair, Beyond the Batter chocolate c...

Today is National Hugging Day. I know this because I saw it listed on a friends little ones school calendar next to a graphic of Winnie the Poo hugging Piglet. So it’s totally legit. Coincidentally, I recently read an article that indicated people need four hugs a day for survival, eight hugs a day for maintenance, and twelve hugs a day for growth. Loch is my official hugging partner, but he’s at the age where he sometimes says, “I already hugged you,” if I ask for too many. Even Adam and the cats are like, “Really??” So basically, I’m barely surviving. In thinking about all of this, I could not help but wonder how many hugs the average person gives and or receives in an average day. I tried asking the general question to a few friends, but the results were inconclusive. One friend enjoys a significant amount of hugs, one asked if his dog counted...um, yes, and another said he didn’t get enough hugs...though he does love them. So clearly, and shockingly...this wasn’t the most scientifi...

I do yoga about a dozen times a year, which is just slightly less than I exercise and which is a shame because I currently pay a fee every two weeks to Movati (which is an amazing facility that feels a lot like a spa) but haven't gone to since my best friend and hot yoga partner Susan left for an amazing work opportunity overseas. Anyway... Yesterday (not a New Years resolution - just a promise to myself  to do better), I made it to a hot yoga class and it was not pretty, not pretty at all. Every yoga pose felt not-so-limber. Kind of like Lego. In fact, doing yoga when you’re in your forties is a lot like doing yoga when each of your joints moves only one way...like Lego. I was hoping the heat of the room and the abundance of New Years resolutions yoga attendees would help to loosen the ol body but no such luck. Let me create a visual for you...it looks a little something like this... Susan returns this summer and if I keep at it until her return, perhaps ...

I wouldn't be so scared of spiders if they were wearing tiny shoes.

My first blog post was on April 27, 2011 titled  "I think I'm ready, no...I know I'm ready"  and from that date in April seven years ago, I've published 900 posts (including this one).  Sometimes I wonder why I blog. Don’t get me wrong, I love it, I just don’t know where I fit into the blog world or if I even do. Lately I’ve been in such an emotional funk and throwing my own pity party, I’ve been feeling like pulling the plug on my blog. But then I’ll feel like writing, such as this nonsense, and I keep it going. I completely understand that not everyone will agree with what I write or they won’t get that I’m just joking about things and that’s fine, they have that right. But there have been some people that obviously hate whatever I say, yet they keep coming back. I write to blow off steam or “attempt” to be funny, along with everything in between but I don’t feel like I’m being malicious. I’m kind of like a hooker with a heart of gold, except for the whole h...

While at the grocery store the other day, I couldn’t get over how crazy people were being. It seems like it’s a battle zone these days. I don’t understand what brings out the basket of insanity in people when it comes to grocery shopping. Take for example, the man I recently had to deal with. Lochlan had a doctors appointment and on the way home we stopped at a grocery store to get some essentials. I pulled into the parking lot and when I looked around, I saw plenty of spaces available and also saw a big pile of snow partially blocking the space right next to us. I thought there wasn’t any way someone would want to park there and perfect because Lochlan has kicked off his boots, removed his hat (his hair standing on end and reminding me that he needs a haircut and kicking myself for sleeping through his appointment last weekend) and had flung off his mittens, one landing in the front seat and one in the backseat that I couldn't locate. This spot was perfect for the extra time it wa...

I often overhear people discussing what their goals are for the New Year. Resolutions come in so many different forms. Read more, drink less, exercise five days a week. Spend more time with friends and family, spend less money on frivolous items, eat healthy foods. The overall theme that can be found in each resolution is "more of something" or "less of something" and usually involves some sort of self improvement. I have been asked twice this week what is my New Year’s Resolution. Honestly, I’ve just never been a New Year’s resolution kind of girl. I think here are a few reasons why... I Really Value Promises To me, a resolution is a promise, and I don’t make promises lightly. Maybe I’m taking this all too seriously, but I can’t seem to do otherwise. I just don’t like to make a commitment I might not be able to keep. Not even to myself. No Shoulds If there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that I don't experience my best self when I’m following a “sho...

I want to thank everyone for their well wishes and support that flowed my way in 2017. I don’t think I would be where I am now without that. It was a year filled with ups and downs, but I am very optimistic about 2018 and I'm looking forward to what life has in store for my family and I.