Then Verus Now

Here are just a few of things that I've done in the past three years that I would not have done previously...

• Put peanut butter on a piece of toast while peeing.
• Brush someone’s teeth against their will.
• Blow on food while it’s in someone else’s mouth.
• Help someone else blow on food while it’s in someone else’s mouth.
• Eat food that’s fallen out of someone else’s mouth.
• Eat food you found on the floor.
• Chase someone at full speed through Home Depot.
• Eat more then a dozen snack size chocolate bars at 4 am while watching Paw Patrol...alone.
• Sing the Paw Patrol theme song to yourself while driving...alone.
• Bribe someone to poop with a Dora fruit flavored gummy vitamin.
• Eat food you found under the table.
• Eat candy you found in a shoe.
• Wipe somebody’s nose with your bare hand.
• Eat baby food.
• Give yourself a crotch bath with baby wipes.  
• Pretend you’re terrible at basketball using a toddler sized net.
• Finish someone else’s soggy cereal.
• Blame a fart on a child.
• Blame a child’s fart on your spouse.
• Get someone dressed while you’re in the shower.
• Cut up a grape.
• Almost agree to cut up a raisin.
• Pretend to enjoy the flavor of children's medicine .
• Ask someone why their hair smells like yogurt.
• Ask someone why their hair smells like your antiperspirant.
• Put someone else’s toenail clippings in your pocket.
• Let someone watch you poop while they stare blankly eating a popsicle.

Again...these are just a few. There are more. So many more.