Seven Stages

I needed a new bathing suit. I went shopping. I came home empty handed and it got me to thinking....


There are certain stages that one must go through to find the perfect swimsuit. Allow me to present the seven stages...

1. Shock & Denial - This is not my body. This is NOT my body. These are not my boobs, this is not my ass, these are not my thighs. No, no, no. This is not happening.

2. Pain & Guilt - This sucks. What was I thinking eating whatever I wanted for the last few months? I deserve this ass. I deserve this stomach. I suck.

3. Anger - What are you looking at? You've never seen a woman surrounded by 15 bathing suits and three pints of ice cream? Go to hell. Go away. Now.

4. Depression, Reflection, and Loneliness - Why am I sitting here alone? It's because I look like this, isn't it? Nobody wants me.

5. The Upward Turn - It's not even August. I don't have to look like this all summer! I can start a diet now. No carbs. No sugar. Gallons of water. Here I go!

6. Reconstruction & Working Though - OK, so maybe not no carbs. Light carbs. A little sugar. Iced tea.

7. Acceptance - I'm never going to rock the swimsuit again. Pass the Ben and Jerry's. And the cover-up.

Best Friends Swimsuit Girls by maclancy via Etsy

Comments

  1. waiting and wishingJuly 10, 2012 at 12:37 PM

    One of the things I remember most from my childhood is my mom and aunt going swimming suit shopping at the beginning of summer. My two cousins and I would sit in a line against the wall outside of the dressing room and listen to the two of them laugh at each other hysterically. They almost always would settle on something, but the process was beyond comical!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Crystal WoodsJuly 11, 2012 at 12:23 PM

    It's funny, when I was in my early twenties, and skinny, I wouldn't wear bikinis and I always felt awkward in a bathing suit of any kind because I hated my body. If I could have seen what my body was going to look like 10 years from then and a child later, I probably would have run the beach naked without a problem....

    (This is Crystal by the way - ex ASAP employee - Saw your blog on FB, hope you don't mind if I follow along)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Janet Off KilterJuly 11, 2012 at 1:02 PM

    Hi Crystal! Don't mind you following along at all :)
    I love the pics of Ashley that you post...she's so so cute!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Katherine SJuly 12, 2012 at 12:39 PM

    Hey Janet, I have done the bathing suit search 3 different days in the last month. You either need to be super skinny, very rich or are going for the matronly look - at least that is how it is here in CNY. Frustrating!! You totally made me laugh with this post, it's perfect!

    ReplyDelete
  5. AshleyJuly 12, 2012 at 1:15 PM

    hilarious post Janet!

    ReplyDelete

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