Just A Little Off Kilter....

When a man can't open a jar, he has to throw it away and never speak of it again. Pickle Jar Card by Tedi Sarah via Etsy

I’m turning 38 in four days. Thirty eight. Maybe it’s a lucky number? Back in the day, I used to have the number 8 on my jersey when I played hockey and I had a number 3 when I played ringette and I remember really liking both of those numbers. Therefore I’m hoping that this will be a lucky year. Am I feeling like 38? Probably, yes. For instance, I need to go to bed early. I can't stay up really late if I want to be mentally present the next day. I must be sure to sit up straight, or else my back will kill me. And I just can't seem to see the point with going out for drinks if the music is too loud for talking. In my twenties, I was constantly trying to seize each and every opportunity to make a difference. I guess I was worried something amazing would pass me by if I didn't stay alert. These days, I'm happy with knowing I did my best for the people I care about. Overachieving for overachieving sake is just so overrated. But am I just turning into a more boring version ...

For Christmas one of the lovely gifts I received from my sister was a spa day at the top rated spa in Canada... St. Anne's Spa ...which also happens to be one of the top 100 spas in the world. Saturday was our spa day... and it was heavenly.

Happy Weekend!

I almost lost my shit this morning. I was on my way to work & then I promptly took a left turn and headed in the opposite direction. And then I drove. And drove. And drove. My thoughts, my wheels, my hormones were a-spinnin'. And I kept driving. Zoned out yet feeling like someone had me by the back of the neck, ready to drop kick me. And there was silence. Just the hum of the road. And I sat in it for a long time.  I wanted to cry but I couldn't. I wanted to scream but I didn't have the energy.  So, I opened my mouth & let out a long, moan-y, "fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck." Wow, it felt good. I've been so overwhelmed. I can't keep up with anything. My inbox. My health. My infertility and upcoming 38th birthday that will thrust me further into AMA (advanced maternal age). My commitments. My friendships. My work. My bullshit. And then I feel guilty about ALL OF IT . And then I freeze. At least I recognize my cycle of tendencies. That much is good. It'...

If there is no emoticon to express the emotion, does the emotion really exist? Standard Smiley, emoticon, ASCII art by Print House Company via Etsy

You know, I can be pretty lax when it comes to manners. I don't always keep my elbows of the table. I have been known to eat things off the floor. I am told that I sometimes interrupt people. I don't always cover my mouth when I cough or say excuse me when I fart sneeze. Why am I telling you this, you ask? Well, to make a point.  To make a point that even a girl who doesn't always use the best manners knows how to flush her own feces down the toilet.  You're probably thinking, who doesn't flush? Someone at my office is who. Today I had a very unpleasant and unexpected surprise, which I will call "The Case of the Office Poo". The Scene : My office The Time : Monday June 22nd - 1:30 pm The Discovery: I entered the bathroom to find the lid to the toilet closed. I assumed someone was just being polite. But I found with horror that someone was being actually being VERY VERY rude and also that someone had recently eaten a lot of fiber. The Suspects : It...

I don't have that many pictures from the weekend. I was the Bon Echo custodian so I was kept very, very busy! In the boat waiting to pick up climbers & yes...we are crazy enough to climb that 300 foot cliff! Beautiful sunset  Two days driving a boat, on a lake with nothing but sun...while wearing sunglasses will make your face look like this (and yes...I was wearing sunscreen) Two days driving a boat, on a lake with nothing but sun...while NOT wearing sunscreen on your lips...will make them look like this.  Another amazing Bon Echo weekend...& the best part...I get to do it all over again in a couple of weeks. How was your weekend?

I think my blog is haunted...there is no way that this here blog was viewed 4,535 times yesterday and already 2,104 times today. Haunted I tell ya!

I have a headache. I think it’s because I never seem to get enough sleep. A good night’s sleep eludes me, mostly because I am too crafty for my own good. For instance, I will get into bed at 11:00 but will read or play Sudoku (yes, I'm a nerd) until 1:00. I only think I went to bed at 11:00. On the other end, I do a truly optimistic and idiotic thing: I set my alarm clock for 6:04 am every day. To most of you, that may not seem early, but it is a full hour before I actually have to wake up in order to get to work on time. Why do I set my alarm for 6:04? So that I can indulge in a cruel fantasy game called 'Today I will catch up on stuff before I go to work' But... I never catch up on stuff before I go to work. I just don't have the willpower. And yet my alarm continues to go off every morning in the hopes that today will be the day everything changes. Waking myself on purpose only to fall back asleep can't be helping my lethargy. I am also lucky enough to s...

Last night someone asked me..."Hey, do know One Direction?" My response..."Actually, I know all four...North, East, South and West" boo-yah! via

Things I am thankful for, in no particular order (well, actually, that’s a lie – I’m putting all of my touchy-feely items first. No one wants to be listed after Nerds and Pop Rocks.) My Adam, the love of my life; My mother, who's just swell; My sister, who I would love even if she lived in an igloo made out of toilet paper rolls; My father, who brings down the house; My extended S,V, & R families, who have lovely, wicked senses of humor; My extended P family, who have art in their blood and scotch in their veins; My climbing family, who have welcomed me into their scatological clan; My beautiful, brilliant friends, who keep me sane; Nerds & Pop Rocks (the candy kind); Sudoku (the easy levels of course); Blogging; A good scotch; Street performers; Blue jeans; Just-picked berries; Weekend sleep-ins; Firefly (the show, not the bugs, although they're pretty awesome, too); Pink streaks in hair; Bon Echo; Graboid; Jack Johnson; Trampolines; Cheese (all of them); Backyard gard...

There’s a sacred proverb that goes... “When in life you bite off more than you can chew, Stop Chewing for a moment, and walk around naked in your living room.” Okay not really. I obviously just made that up. And no, I don't have an obsession with being naked even though I have rock climbed naked, in the dark not once but...twice.  Anyway... I think that lately I have perhaps bitten off more than I can chew. It happens to most of us at one time or another and I'm usually pretty good at being able to deal with it all but for whatever reason...I'm finding myself overwhelmed - if not paralyzed - by the enormity of the responsibilities I currently have. I think I need to find - The Balance You see, there must be a balance between when you’re doing the - Biting and Chewing ...also known as taking big leaps, working your ass off, and making things happen you never thought you could do before and the - Walking Around Naked ...also known as giving your mind and body a li...

I really want a tiny little stud in my nose. I know. I'll be 38 in a couple of weeks and it's a bit ridiculous, but I really want one. I mean, why not? Will it ruin my reputation at work? Does it cost a million dollars? Will strange kids try to rip it out? I need to download "Sharknado" when I get home. I hear it's epicly, awfully...good. I wish there was a grilled cheese restaurant in my neighborhood...it would be a revelation. I would eat there everyday. It would totally ruin any hopes of a gluten-free day though. I really want a glass of white wine sangria. Do I really need another trip to the bathroom to check "Vine". Will my boss think I have an issue with my intestinal tract? I did spend 15 minutes in there the last time. Should I really buy another box of FRER just to have them tell me "No Janet...you are not pregnant". I really want a slice of birthday cake but I don't know what to tell then when they ask me what ...

Happy Weekend!

Did you ever read that book as a kid, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day ? I'm having one of those. I woke up tired and feeling like I had a cold coming on, I was late getting to work, I got swamped with projects, I developed a splitting headache, I looked at my credit card statement, I forgot to pack lunch so I had to settle for a granola bar and a yogurt that I had stored in the office fridge, I snapped at my co-worker, and then someone made a mean comment about this here blog. Also I'm getting a pimple, and that really sucks (and it's only 12:30). If I seem irritable and irrational, well, I am. My mood is swinging like a pendulum, so I'm out of sorts and this can make me a little "difficult". I just hate feeling so...so...blah! Also I'm really sensitive, so that anonymous comment hurt my feelings. I know it's stupid and that I shouldn't be so defensive, but the truth is that I'm still hurt that William I-Forget-His-L...

Next on "McCribs"! Hamburglar shows us his pimped-out hideout, and Grimmus takes us on a tour of his plush pleasure dome.

1. The banana's commit banacide while we are away 2. Beautiful chandelier 3. Family 4. Leviathan 5. Adam on right 6. Canada's Wonderland 7. Hat wearing 8. Ice cream eating 9. Pretty lights 10. New dress 11. Adam wears a laundry bag. P.S. I'll be back to my usual nonsense tomorrow ☺

I've said before that life has a way of changing on a dime and turning you on your head...it happens...that's life. June 24th, 2013...flipped me upside down. I'll be vague on the details (only because we are still waiting for some more answers) but in short, I had a stroke followed by what we believe was a seizure. Stroke? I know...weird hey! Imagine my surprise when the doctor's had that chat with me! The seizure...well I don't really recall that evening of excitement and I'm undecided on whether that is a good thing or not. Adam filled in the blanks for me. I must admit that not being able to recall a certain chunk of time is...well...unsettling. I took comfort in the fact that Adam, the nurses and doctors took great care of me while I was unable to do so for myself. Monday June 24th...not a good place to spend your afternoon (this I remember) Interestingly enough the key to this puzzle,  After 2 CT scans, 3 MRI's, a couple of lumbar puncture...