Go Easy

Food is delicious. Cold weather and fireplaces are amazing. Friends are wonderful. Loves are magic. Exercise feels awesome. Nature never ceases to be beautiful and soothing. There is so much to enjoy every day in life, yet a lot of us have a hard time staying in the moment, even when that moment is singular and something worth replaying in our minds for eternity. It’s kind of like living in a constant state of looking forward or backward, or always feeling like wherever you are there’s something that needs to be fixed. Something we’re forgetting that we should be remembering.

There can be lots of reasons for why we take ourselves out of the moment, but in general I’d guess that it’s a feeling of discomfort with something deep down and ancient, a discomfort with low-self esteem, feelings of depression or anxiety that we’re trying to put logical labels on, or perhaps a fear of a discomfort we knew long ago. One of the best tools I've learned is to remind myself that all those feelings and instincts are...

A) 99% made up in my own head, and 

B) completely useless and irrelevant to what will happen and is happening. 

All that it does is remove you from the present and steal away the joy from any experience you might be having.

When you decide to give yourself the gift of an experience – be it a vacation, a dinner, a love or a party...don’t take yourself out of it while you’re in it. Savor it and soak it up. Smell the smells and taste the tastes. Laugh at things that are funny. Love and be loved. Tell your brain to leave you alone and perhaps recite a little reminder, something along the lines of, “You are smart, you are fine, things are okay, and this is where I want to be right now. Be nice to yourself and just try and enjoy it.” Remember...most things to come and everything past is out of your control. All you can ever do is your best and then after that you've got to let go of the outcome and remember that about yourself. Forgive yourself for things that aren't perfect. Time spent regretting and worrying and fearing is time stolen from your life. What’s the good of a cookie if you hate eating it?

So with the upcoming holidays and days off of work, remember to let yourself savor the happy, relaxing and novel moments. With your friends, your family, your pets. The cold air on your face after you've eaten a delicious meal. The mornings you sleep in and wake up when it’s basically afternoon. It’s okay and you are okay and maybe better than okay. The world is not ending and there’s nowhere your mind should be but in your stretching body. No need to force anxiety or “shoulds” over what has been or will be. You’re living something now and you should never cheat yourself out of the enjoyment. Remember, you like yourself. Don’t forget to go easy on you once in a while.

I owe you an update on the quest for Baby JaAdam...coming soon, stay tuned.