Just A Little Off Kilter....

Be a positive force. Pollute the well with rainbows and hearts! And as soon as the dark tar of negativity enters your body, grind it up and get it out. Because whether you think so or not, what you project effects everyone around you and your energy can create a chain reaction for the better. We are all sensitive beings exchanging all sorts of signals all the time. Even though the world effects you as heavily as it does sometimes, you effect the world around you right back. Being positive will change the world a lot more than you think it will. I used to feel paralyzed by the badness in the world, thinking, “What’s the point? Why even try to help a problem when it is never going to stop it...people are cyclically spreading badness and pain.” But they are not just doing that...sometimes it just seems that way, and a constant barrage of terrible news can really get to most of us. I recently heard this quote, “If you save the life of one man, you save all of mankind.” (I replace man with ...

Well, I blinked and another month went by. I feel like I live in a time-warp. In a lot of ways, this month went by slowly. But it also feels like it it way too soon for me to have a 3 month old. Did I do all the things I wanted to do with my newborn? Is he still considered a newborn now that he’s 3 months old? I mean, he’s still wearing some 0-3 months clothes so that has to count for something, right? Newborn or not...there is no question that he is the cutest baby in the whole wide world. Want proof...     Happy weekend you lovely peoples!  

Don't cry...that onion didn't deserve you anyways.

Product label writers.   Who are they? Who employs them? What is their job description? Here's my thought...they work directly under the legal department of large companies and under the direction of counsel, write directions and warning labels fit for a zombie who just landed on earth and discovered our products for the first time. Because companies are required to provide ample warning of "foreseeable" dangers in their products, this must be a high paid position succeptable to brain strain and writer's block. Prerequisites for the job: Must be from earth, be able to type 5 wpm, and read.   I have my own bathroom and Adam has his own bathroom (his bathroom is an ensuite in our bedroom). Now because Adam is usually the only one that ever uses his bathroom, putting down the toilet seat is never on his "To Do List". Quietly, I crawled out of bed this morning at 5:30 am to use the bathroom and got ready to do what I have down to a science while still ...

I'm throwing it back to December 4th, 2011 ...we were just a few days away from our second frozen embryo transfer (the one that ended in a chemical pregnancy) and I was in the midst of PIO injections.  A lot sure can change in 3 years!

Today I learned that parenting is one of the more, um, emotionally schizophrenic experiences a person can have. (And coming from me, that means something.) Today I flip-flopped from feeling to feeling like an attention-deficitted captain kangaroo. Emotions ping-ponged me over the head while the audience in my head hysterically laughed. I was...pissed right off, exhausted, tolerant, happy, impatient, lazy, contemplative, frustrated, bummed, exhilarated, refreshed, proud, thrilled, joyful, impatient again, curious, worried, anxious, lazy again, frustrated again, disappointed, sad, a little bit panicked, irritable, lonely, cautious, and now tense. There was also some hungry and thirsty in there, and I think once or twice I had to pee. The point is, I had not anticipated how intense all my mom emotions would be, let alone how easily they would frantically run away...sometimes with me still attached. I can't keep up. The only constant is how much I love Lochlan...which isn't even c...

My hand is stuck in a jar of salsa right now. I'm just gonna leave it in there. This is who I am now. I'm tired of fighting.

Well, blow me down...Lochlan James is now... 2 months 16 days or 11 weeks 0 days or 77 days or 1,848 hours or 110,880 minutes or 6,652,800 seconds old When you have a baby, you enter this strange vortex where time flies except when he’s crying. When he's crying time feels like it's so very slowly ticking by! There are other things that change as well once you've had your wee bundle for a wee while. Here are three things I've learned with a two month old... You begin to revert back to your childhood bedtime Remember when having to go to bed felt like a punishment and you went kicking and screaming? Or when you had to go to bed in the summer before it was dark? Ahhh, memories. With a 2 month old baby, you either quickly learn to sleep when he sleeps, or you slowly wither away into a sleep-deprived, former shell of yourself. Lochlan going to bed at 8:30? Sounds great, let me hop into my jammies! The little man is going to nap all afternoon? I’m all in, where’s...

Lochlan was six weeks old last Friday. This means many things, but the most all-consuming thing of the sixth week of life has been his six-week growth spurt which we are in the midst of. I lovingly refer to this as the “growth spurt from hell” as it seems to be the most difficult one of all thus far. In happier news, once this growth spurt has passed we move on to happier times.   First, though, we must get through this growth spurt. It's the one where I decided that my milk supply is vanishing, that my baby actually hates me...but not as much as baby hates anyone (Adam) who attempts to hold him without a breast for him to latch onto.    Lochlan is divinely unpleasant, fussy, and does not believe at all in the idea of sleep...at least at night (he's been asleep all morning). He switches sides constantly and is pretty vocal about his annoyance when there is not enough milk or when there is too much milk. He flails his little limbs in displeasure, and pummels me wit...

I like the word funfetti because it takes confetti and it repurposes it for fun!

Lochlan and Uncle Jake swap faces!

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the things I've learned during Lochlan’s first 6 weeks of life. Here's a sampling...   Yes. My baby really is the cutest baby ever . Cutest baby in the whole world, in fact. Even though I'm a horrible singer, Lochlan loves to hear my voice. For the most natural thing in the world, breastfeeding does not always come naturally. I've read books and reached out to a lactation consultant and didn't put too much pressure on myself. Let Adam do as much of the childcare as possible, even if I secretly think he's doing it “wrong.” He probably isn't...he's just doing it differently than me and he worst thing I can do is make him feel obsolete or useless. For the most natural thing in the world, breastfeeding does not always come naturally. Read books, surround yourself with good and helpful examples, and reach out to a lactation consultant. I desperately, desperately, DESPERATELY want to feel, look, and act like my ‘old...

My salad for lunch is missing one key ingredient which would make it perfect. Donuts.

I've read that parenting can feel a lot like riding on a roller coaster. I certainly see why. However, when you're on a roller coaster, you have absolutely no control over your situation. I happen to think it's a bit more like riding on a seesaw. You go up and down, up and down. For a while, it's fun. You get the hang of it. You learn to control parts of your ascent and descent...relying on the other kid (in our case, baby Loch.) to participate. To help out and keep the ride going. On the ups, it's all smiles and giggles. The downs are made bearable because you've learned together how to go up again. Sometimes when you're up...that other kid jumps off without warning. You crash to the ground. You're rattled. Your butt hurts. You cry because whatever just happened happened so fast. But you walk it off. The next day at recess, you forget all of that. You ride the seesaw again with that same kid. That's where we are today. Girl Cat Design via Etsy ...

I started typing this post last Wednesday...it’s now Sunday and I'm finally finishing it up. It’s kind of comical how long it actually took. Hopefully I will find the time to blog more frequently, but right now, my life is consumed with all things baby and I am trying to soak up every last minute of this adventure. I love this 8 pound, 5 ounce nugget (his weight at his our visit last week with the lactation consultant) more than I ever dreamed I would. It’s shiny (total Firefly reference for my Captain Tightpants readers). Holy crap, my tiny human is so, so amazing and he smells so good. Life with a newborn is also the single most difficult thing I have ever done. Taking care of someone who is 100% dependent on you for every single aspect of their well-being is overwhelming. There are so many things to figure out...why is my baby crying, how do I feed my baby, is this a normal diaper, where should my baby sleep? Every single thing you encounter is something you have never done b...

Lochlan and I wish you a very happy weekend!

I'm in a constant state of bliss these days...soaking up every moment with Lochlan...so I please ask that you forgive my absence...but I'll be back soon! While you wait...here are a few pictures of Lochlan's first day... Last bump pic at 39 weeks 1 day. This was taken an hour before my c-section These were taken a couple of hours after Lochlan was born. This is the first time that I held him and it would be only one of the two times I held him that day. I'll tell the story of why we were separated for the first 36 hours soon...still trying to process. Adam was able to spend the day with Lochlan in the NICU and would text me pictures while I was downstairs in the PACU (post anesthesia care unit). This was the second time that Adam was able to bring Lochlan down to the PACU (with a NICU nurse in tow). I was able to attempt breast feeding and Adam burped him. I was sobbing while taking this picture...being apart from him when I was expecting to ...

Lochlan James September 12th, 2014 9:26 am 6 pounds 7 ounces  18 3/4 inches long It's been a whirlwind of week and we are head over heels in love with this little man of ours.  I'll be back shortly to share his birth story and pictures (of which we have many...all posted to Instagram). As you can imagine we have been a little busy and oh so sleepy but I'll be back  very soon! Much love to all, Janet, Adam and Lochlan xoxo

Well this is it. Today marks the last day of my pregnancy. One chapter is ending and a whole new chapter is about to begin. It has been a pretty eventful nine months, but I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. As I write this, by this time tomorrow I will have a baby in my arms. Knowing the exact date your baby is going to be born is quite a surreal experience. But knowing the date and counting down, working through a crazy to do list until your house is shiny and everything is ready just seems so odd. Knowing that in approximately 18 hours I’ll be holding my sweet baby boy in my arms...is at times a little incomprehensible. I'm scared, nervous, anxious, excited, happy and a million other things in between. I can not believe that tomorrow I will finally get to hold and snuggle my son who I have been so excited to meet from the moment I saw a positive on that pregnancy test way back in January. Until then...I'm going to....

 Wo w. I mean, really, wow. As of tomorrow, I have one week until this baby is born. 7 days 8 nights 168 hours I've spent the last 38 weeks watching in amazement, as my body changes and adapts, to grow another human. I've been horribly sick, more tired than I ever though possible, and discovered what it really means to have a aching body. Yes, this pregnancy has been a bit rough on me, even that is a understatement. I am waving my white flag quite often these days, collapsing into a heap of emotionally and physically exhausted Janet at the end of every day but I'm also the happiest I've ever been. I have this renewed bond and intense love for my family. I find myself daydreaming even more about adventures we will take together, projects we can take on...our little family. I am excited to see Adam with a little boy, to witness their growing together, that unique father-son dynamic. I am curious to see if he will look like Adam, or take more after me. I am anxious to s...

36 weeks ~ some days it’s hard to believe I’m this far into the journey and so close to meeting my child. What do you mean I’m going to be a parent?! I mean, I knew we were having a baby, but it’s hard to wrap my mind around the fact that we are bringing a human into the world. A human that is half of me and half of Adam. A human that we will be solely responsible for. A human we are expected to teach right from wrong, prepare for the world and love unconditionally. I know we can do the last part because we already do. I’m going to have a son. Wow!  And then, on the other hand, I feel so ready. We have the ‘stuff’. We've (I mean Adam) have read books. We are ready to meet our little one. Parenthood...bring it! It’s strange not knowing which pregnancy post will be my last, so I wanted to talk a little about the symptoms I've experienced throughout pregnancy. This interests me because I always thought everyone felt the same things. Well, they don’t...every woman's...

Happy Weekend from your favorite face swapping couple!

Today I am 35 weeks 4 days pregnant. Wow. Still surreal to be here...especially given that I've now been having contractions on and off since July 26th when I was admitted to the hospital (for the first time). When I last updated on the 12th, I had a scheduled ultrasound and appointment the following day. The ultrasound reassured us that all is well with baby boy! My appointment however, brought some unsettling news. I had been contracting all morning and after checking me, it showed that I was dilated to 2 cm and was 80% effaced. This earned me another trip to Labor & Delivery. It really looked for a few hours that we were going to have the baby that day but once again...despite my uterus being miserable and cranky...my cervix was a rock star and held steady at 2 cm until things calmed down later that night.  I was once again admitted to the antepartum floor where I stayed until Friday afternoon. I was having some difficultly with the thought of staying in the ho...

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college-ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear it up up in 2 seconds. When I play Rock, Paper,  Scissors I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say "oh I'm sorry I thought paper would protect you. Rock, Paper, Scissors by Amanda Catherine Designs via Etsy P.S. 35 week update and drama coming soon!

Frack you, little sticker on produce!

Today I'm 34 weeks 5 days pregnant. It feels great to be here. When I was admitted to the hospital at 32 weeks 2 days...34 weeks felt so far away but here we are...it feels amazing! 34 weeks belly I was re-admitted Saturday once again with contractions and thankfully, we were able to stop them and I came home yesterday. My uterus may be cranky but my cervix has been a rock star and is doing an amazing job of keeping baby boy right where he belongs! Tomorrow morning I have an ultrasound to check my cervical length and see how baby is doing. After that, I have my OB appointment. If my cervix has changed, I'll likely be admitted and will stay until I deliver. If not, I'll get to stay at home. My gut is telling me that we will meet this baby sooner rather then later...I can't really explain the feeling. It's odd. The good news...while baby boy will still be premature, we are now into late premature and baby should do very well. Ideally though...we are hopi...

When I had got pregnant with baby JaAdam, I could have never imagined what a “roller coaster ride” would ensue. Things were normal at first, but quickly changed when I was admitted to the hospital at 32 weeks 2 days pregnant with preterm labor. After spending a total of 12 days in the hospital on strict bed rest and then again the past couple of days with perhaps more to come after my appointment this coming Wednesday...I learned how to survive. I am not saying that it wasn't difficult, because it was (especially spending your 39th birthday in the hospital). But, how you handle any unplanned situation (such as hospital bed rest) during your pregnancy can make all the difference. Be thankful - One of the first things that I did upon learning I was to be admitted was to be thankful for the intervention. Unfortunately, many women with compromised pregnancies, don’t get the opportunity go on bed rest and the situation can turn more dire than it began. Mandated bed rest is an opportuni...