Keeping Secrets

Well, blow me down...Lochlan James is now...

2 months 16 days
or 11 weeks 0 days
or 77 days
or 1,848 hours
or 110,880 minutes
or 6,652,800 seconds old

When you have a baby, you enter this strange vortex where time flies except when he’s crying. When he's crying time feels like it's so very slowly ticking by! There are other things that change as well once you've had your wee bundle for a wee while. Here are three things I've learned with a two month old...

You begin to revert back to your childhood bedtime
Remember when having to go to bed felt like a punishment and you went kicking and screaming? Or when you had to go to bed in the summer before it was dark? Ahhh, memories. With a 2 month old baby, you either quickly learn to sleep when he sleeps, or you slowly wither away into a sleep-deprived, former shell of yourself. Lochlan going to bed at 8:30? Sounds great, let me hop into my jammies! The little man is going to nap all afternoon? I’m all in, where’s my favorite blankie? Of course, on the flip side of this is that the 6 to 8 hours of continuous sleep that you used to strive for is now a distant memory that you sometimes dream about during your cat naps.

You will sink to new comedic lows, just to make your baby laugh 
Whether I am right or wrong, I consider myself to have a pretty sophisticated sense of humor. While it is true that I have a sweet spot for poop references and fart jokes, I tend to prefer something more cerebral. The problem here is that little babies do not have a sophisticated sense of humor...trust me, I've tried everything. Maybe they just don't have the mental capacity to follow a long set up, perhaps they miss the subtle twists and play on words or maybe they're just easily distracted. For example, just the other night we watched an episode of Mrs. Browns Boys together and he didn't laugh once, though he did fart a few times (which made me laugh, per usual). When a little baby starts to cry though, you will do anything to make him stop. This includes sticking out your tongue to performing grade school level slapstick. When I say anything, I mean anything!

You will be awakened at sunrise, every single day
Now I understand why babies don't have jobs (it’s because they stink at Excel, right?), but if they did, I believe that they would have a better appreciation for weekends. They would understand the joy, no the need, of sleeping in on Saturdays and Sundays. Instead, they wake as soon as the sun peaks it’s intrusive rays through every little opening in the window treatments. They coo their cute little baby coos and grin their cute little baby grins. If you ignore their performance then the encore will surely grab your attention. That’s the point when cooing turns into full on crying. So you get up and get the day started. After some standard baby maintenance (feeding, changing etc.), you get your breakfast and a cup of coffee. Once the caffeine kicks in, you feel better than expected so you decide to play with the little tyke. Guess what? He’s now enjoying his first of many naps.

I've also learned that having a two month old leaves me little time for blogging but I'm working on that...promise...but right now I've got to go and cuddle my sweet boy!