One Plus Three

My thoughts....
  • August 3 - In two days I turn 37. I was excited about my birthday, especially since it was going to fall on a Friday and we had a weekend at Bon Echo planned. Was...is the most important word of that sentence. 
  • We have healed and are ready to start IVF 2.0
  • Today is Cycle Day 3 - This morning I had my Day 3 blood work drawn as well as AMA (did you also have to pay for this?) as well as my baseline ultrasound to measure my antral follicle count. All this in preparation for starting our cycle late this month.
  • Four - This is my abysmal antral follicle count. Four. One on the left, three on the right. 
  • 4 - You are no longer my favourite number.
  • Two - The number of people that no longer find what I say to be interesting, witty or worthy enough of tuning in. I get it. 
  • 14.4 - This was my FSH on my last round of day 3 blood work.
  • Old - I didn't feel this way this morning. This morning I felt young. 
  • Laughable - Feeling young this morning.
  • "You may feel young, but your eggs are old" - Words once spoken to me. Words once laughed off as being untrue.
  • Old eggs - The truth.
  • August 16th - Our appointment with our RE to discuss the results of today's testing and my AMA.
  • AMA - I don't have very high hopes for you my friend.
  • My spirit - Broken.



Comments

  1. LunaAugust 1, 2012 at 1:13 PM

    Janet, what can I possibly say, except that I am here, thinking about you and wishing you nothing but the fulfillment of your dreams. I am so sorry you are going through this shit at the moment. I promise, I am not going anywhere. Hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  2. caitlinAugust 1, 2012 at 1:30 PM

    Oh Janet, i am so sorry. I hope that your dr has some good advice and plans for you. I am sorry this has been a shitty day, I hope there is some good news around the corner.

    ReplyDelete
  3. KanisAugust 1, 2012 at 1:33 PM

    Good luck with IVF 2.0. I found it less scary than the first. I also didn't allow my hopes to get up too high either. I did read somewhere that you do have to pay for that test. It's becoming more common to have it I think. Hope your appointment goes well.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AmberAugust 1, 2012 at 3:54 PM

    Sometimes you need a day to just be down...tomorrow is a new day. I'm hoping for good news for you!! Hang in there!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. silverdollarAugust 1, 2012 at 6:47 PM

    Oh Janet, I've been following your blog for a while and I really feel for you. I could have written this post myself (although maybe not quite as witty as you have) a little over a year ago. It was a cycle starting with an AFC of 4 yielding just 2 eggs that finally worked for us. Please don't count yourself out before you start. If your RE is not optimistic, find one who is willing to work with women with DOR and find the right protocol to maximize the potential of your ovaries.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousAugust 1, 2012 at 7:55 PM

    Janet, don't get down with your antral follicle count. I had four in my baseline, ended up with 15 eggs at retrieval, all mature, all fertilized, and ended up with 5 high quality day five embryos. My second retrieval was almost the same. Granted the old crusty eggs have only resulted in miscarriages but in total from two harvests I get 6 kicks at the can (well actually 12 since we transfer two each time). Not bad odds.

    ReplyDelete
  7. AshleyAugust 1, 2012 at 8:23 PM

    I am so sorry Janet but hopefully some of these positive experiences above will help instill some hope. I hope the RE has some positive news for you guys.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hapa HopesAugust 1, 2012 at 9:00 PM

    Sorry your day was so crappy, Janet. The words "day three bloods" can send a chill through any woman with infertility. No one likes to get bad news from them. I hope you're able to enjoy your birthday weekend. Bon Echo seems to give you some extra strength.

    ReplyDelete
  9. DandelionBreezeAugust 2, 2012 at 3:32 AM

    Oh hun... so sorry to hear that you're feeling broken :( Thinking of you for your birthday tomorrow... and sending birthday wishes from Oz xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousAugust 2, 2012 at 10:04 AM

    Janet- I am sorry that you got this news. I hope that your RE has a good plan in place for you when you meet on the 16th and will be thinking of you.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Janet Off KilterAugust 2, 2012 at 1:15 PM

    Sending you all a heartfelt thank you for the lovely messages of support. It really does mean the world to me!

    ReplyDelete

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