Pick One

Rolled or folded?

I stared blankly at the nice lady with a confused smile on my face...I was experiencing a moment of sheer perplexity. My conversation at the till in a card and gift wrap shop at the mall had been very interesting and going well until it came to a sudden and abrupt halt. I was asked a question to which I was struggling to find an answer. The question was this…

“Would you like your wrapping paper rolled or folded?”

I'm sorry, what? Can you not start me off with something a bit easier like..."if a one legged hen laid an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to eat a packet of Skittles?"

I felt unprepared for such an attack on my grey matter. After a long pause of bewilderment, and with a fleeting evil grin, I turned the question back onto her...

"Well, I really don’t know. What would you recommend?"

I could see her brain short circuit as she stood there with a blank, confused look. It appeared that no one had ever turned the question back onto her. After a moment of silence, she replied...

"Do you know what, I never can decide that myself" 

So, what should one answer? Well, let’s look at the options available in the world of gift-wrap...

• I could choose to have the wrapping paper rolled. I could then carry it home, wielding it like a weapon, tripping people over as I walk by. I have discovered on previous occasions that there’s something special about carrying it like a baton that gives one an incredible sense of power. I suddenly transform into a superhero, ready for a robber to run out of the nearest bank so that I can whack him into giving up with my Christmasmey wrapping paper roll. I can take anyone on…oh no, it’s started to rain.
• The alternative option is for the shopkeeper to fold the wrapping paper. That’s much more sensible, allowing me to easily fit it into my bag. However, when I go to wrap the gift, it’s going to end up with great big folds in it. Still, if I have it rolled then it’ll end up battered anyway. So, maybe it’s the best of a bad bunch.

Do you know what though? The real reason I can’t ever come with an answer to the question "would you like your wrapping paper rolled or folded?" is because I don’t care. That’s right, I don’t give a flip whether they fold the paper, roll it or make it into a giant paper hat so that I can wear it home. I mean, sod it, come up with something creative...“Would you like your wrapping paper rolled, folded or crafted into an origami swan?"

Which option would you choose?

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