Feet, Pieds, Voeten
Dear Feet,
It’s been fun. Really it has. Tripping. All. The. Time. Tripping in the entrance to the office, in the parking lot, at the mall. Really it’s been a blast, but all good things must come to an end, and I think the end has come, don’t you?
Yes, I realize there was a rug in front of the door at the office, and technically, you shouldn’t be blamed for that. But you did manage to insert yourselves under the rug, and not just any rug, but one of those industrial, non slip, rubber around the edges, not even old ladies will trip on this rug, rug. Thankfully there was a door there to catch me when I flew forward or...feet...you and I would be parting ways. I can get prosthetic feet. Best of luck to you finding a prosthetic body.
I’m sure you want all kinds of recognition for this morning, when you managed to get the toe of my new super cute sparkly TOMS caught in the tile grout at the mall, but guess what? No kudos from me. Big freaking deal is what I say. Yeah, yeah, thousands, (millions?) of people walk through that mall in a given year and not one person has managed to trip over the grout, but, really, there’s nothing amazing about the fact that you did. The grout was deeper than your ordinary household tile grout. Anyone could have tripped over it. Anyone!
I suspect you’re doing this to satisfy, what you think, is my ever constant need for attention. Attention from the internets I want. Attention from everyone in public, every single day, as I fling my shoe across the store/street. But you are wrong...I could live without this.
Like I said, it’s been fun. But it’s over. I will cherish the memories. Laugh about them every once in awhile. Maybe ten years from now, you can throw me down a flight of stairs for old times sake.
Best wishes,
It’s been fun. Really it has. Tripping. All. The. Time. Tripping in the entrance to the office, in the parking lot, at the mall. Really it’s been a blast, but all good things must come to an end, and I think the end has come, don’t you?
Yes, I realize there was a rug in front of the door at the office, and technically, you shouldn’t be blamed for that. But you did manage to insert yourselves under the rug, and not just any rug, but one of those industrial, non slip, rubber around the edges, not even old ladies will trip on this rug, rug. Thankfully there was a door there to catch me when I flew forward or...feet...you and I would be parting ways. I can get prosthetic feet. Best of luck to you finding a prosthetic body.
I’m sure you want all kinds of recognition for this morning, when you managed to get the toe of my new super cute sparkly TOMS caught in the tile grout at the mall, but guess what? No kudos from me. Big freaking deal is what I say. Yeah, yeah, thousands, (millions?) of people walk through that mall in a given year and not one person has managed to trip over the grout, but, really, there’s nothing amazing about the fact that you did. The grout was deeper than your ordinary household tile grout. Anyone could have tripped over it. Anyone!
I suspect you’re doing this to satisfy, what you think, is my ever constant need for attention. Attention from the internets I want. Attention from everyone in public, every single day, as I fling my shoe across the store/street. But you are wrong...I could live without this.
Like I said, it’s been fun. But it’s over. I will cherish the memories. Laugh about them every once in awhile. Maybe ten years from now, you can throw me down a flight of stairs for old times sake.
Best wishes,
Janet
 |
| Working Feet by Rob Mills Fine Art Photography via Etsy |
Haha! This is too funny!
ReplyDeleteDid you know, when I went to Argentina, I was talking to one of the gauchos who lived in a really poor, rural town in the middle of the pampas and he wore "Toms" to ride the horses every day on the pampas. I told him about Toms and how people in LA spend a ton of money to buy them and how they come in sparkly colors. He didn't believe me. He said they are "poor people's shoes" in Argentina and cost a few cents. I kept teasing him I'd send him a sparkly pair.
ReplyDeleteHa!!! Way to go, feet. You're so special!
ReplyDeleteyou ALWAYS make me smile and laugh! :)
ReplyDelete