A Moment. Not A Proud One.

It's been an incredibly productive day.

 I was up early and I've crossed many things off of my very lengthy "To do List". Adam and I ordered Indian for dinner, we caught up on some television. Adam left to pickup/drop off my niece. I was alone. I logged onto Facebook....

 Then it happened.

Every. Single. Time. that I've logged into Facebook the past few days from my phone (which is how I normally log into Facebook) I've been greeted with the "Total Pregnancy Canada" app in big, bold, bright, can't miss em letters & pictures. Every. Single. Time. I've tried to ignore it and quickly scroll past.

 Tonight I did not succeed. I stared at that app. It stared back.

 I burst into hot, angry, snotty tears.

 Today is 10 dpo. Ten days ago I saw the most positive OPK that I've ever seen. We covered the days leading up to, of and past with gusto.  I was feeling good. I was feeling positive. Then I had that dream, followed by another last night, followed by a very negative test this morning.

 It hurts. It just hurts.

 I had a meltdown. Not a proud moment.

 Facebook...my empty, hostile uterus says "Up yours".



Comments

  1. ErikaSeptember 14, 2013 at 10:31 PM

    Ugh. Friend...I'm so sorry. :( Stupid FB and its day-ruining capabilities. Stupid worthless uteruses. Stupid OPKs. Stupid everything. :(

    ReplyDelete
  2. Mrs. ESeptember 14, 2013 at 10:50 PM

    I'm sorry...sending lots of hugs. I hope this cycle surprises you!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mr. Thompson and MeSeptember 15, 2013 at 12:32 AM

    Make that a double: FB...UP YOURS!

    Every time I log on I get the advertisement that says, "How To Get Pregnant Fast: I struggled with infertility for three years until I discovered this. Click for a step-by-step guide". Ummmmm.... No thanks!

    I feel the pain. Hang in there girl.

    ReplyDelete
  4. JustMeSeptember 15, 2013 at 1:15 AM

    Ugh...what an emotional cycle (literally and figuratively). Facebook is evil and mean. But then, apparently so is life sometimes. Have a glass of wine, take a hot bath, or watch a stupid movie. In other words, take care of yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  5. waiting and wishingSeptember 15, 2013 at 1:57 AM

    Face book is always suggesting awful things to me too. Most recently how to reduce my belly fat- I flip off my phone and face book on nearly a daily basis. Hang in there, friend!

    ReplyDelete
  6. SadieSeptember 15, 2013 at 10:43 AM

    I'm so sorry Janet. Facebook can suck it. Sending huge hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Team HarriesSeptember 15, 2013 at 2:13 PM

    Meltdowns are totally ok!! Don't be too hard on yourself!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Our Journey Through This Lovely LifeSeptember 15, 2013 at 2:56 PM

    {{Stomping feet}} It's so freaking unfair! I am so sorry Janet :(

    ReplyDelete
  9. CarolineSeptember 15, 2013 at 6:58 PM

    Aww I am sorry hun. Thinking about you. Facebook is bad news I have decided.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Just TSeptember 16, 2013 at 9:46 AM

    Thinking of you Janet. I hope that you feel better soon and I REALLY hope that your uterus would decide to cooperate a little.

    ReplyDelete
  11. KelBelSeptember 16, 2013 at 10:22 AM

    Sending lots of hugs your way!! xo

    ReplyDelete
  12. MariaSeptember 16, 2013 at 10:32 AM

    i'm so sorry, janet!! damn, facebook. facebook is crazy, sometimes! i remember getting lots of those reminders on my phone and fb. i threw my phone across the room many of times. i love that you allow yourself to feel what you feel. i hope the weekend got brighter! and yay for indian food. steve and i were just talking about indian food. i was craving some over the weekend...love the spice!
    i hope your monday is a happy one, my friend! xoxoxox
    maria

    ReplyDelete
  13. dspenceSeptember 16, 2013 at 11:32 AM

    UGH, I'm so sorry. Thinking of and praying for you. Peace.

    ReplyDelete
  14. ChickenpigSeptember 17, 2013 at 9:15 AM

    Screw you, FB.

    They say that love has no pride, but it's really infertility that has no pride. I'm right there with you friend.

    ReplyDelete

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