Fat Lady...You're Wanted on Stage

"It's not over till the fat lady sings"

 Well...she came a singin' bright and early Saturday morning marking the beginning of the end of chemical pregnancy number three. I knew this was coming, I knew the beta spelled trouble, I knew deep down in my heart...but it still caught me off guard. There was sadness and heart wrenching despair but there were no tears....I refused to give infertility one more tear. I was feeling angry and defiant. 

 I'll admit though, a little corner of my heart and soul couldn't help but ask...why? 

 But at the same time I feel as if I need to stop asking why me and just move on. Moving on though...in my experience...always easier said than done.

 I haven't and don't have an appointment to see my RE but I do have an appointment to repeat Day 3 - E2, LH and FSH along with my thyroid level and on Day 5 we'll repeat the ultrasound to check AFC. I've been taking DHEA and CoQ10 for 6 months. These two things combined will tell us if it's been making a difference. Will my FSH be lower? Will my AFC be better? 

 We shall see.

Comments

  1. Just TFebruary 25, 2013 at 12:17 PM

    I hope you see some differences on your levels. Have you considered doing a cycle or so of Femara with just TI? I know out of all the drugs we took, the Femara ended up getting me pregnant twice. Maybe something to consider? Thinking of you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. SadieFebruary 25, 2013 at 12:25 PM

    Ugh.I'm so sorry to read this, as if you hadn't been through enough of a roller coaster already. No matter how much we 'expect' the worst, it doesn't really change how much it hurts. Thinking of you and sending strength as you move forward.

    ReplyDelete
  3. ChickenpigFebruary 25, 2013 at 1:20 PM

    Ug. Study singing fat lady :( I hope you get answers to your questions.

    ReplyDelete
  4. EmilyFebruary 25, 2013 at 1:59 PM

    That darn fat lady gets me every time :( So sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  5. KanisFebruary 26, 2013 at 11:16 AM

    My RE also recommended with Coq10 myo inositol and melatonin. There have been some studies that state the combo of these 3 increases egg quality.

    I think crying and infertility go hand in hand. It sucks and it's so difficult to explain the pain to those who don't get it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. LunaFebruary 26, 2013 at 12:55 PM

    I am so bloody pissed on your behalf with the universe right now. And I am so very sorry lady. I wanted this for you so badly.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

What are you thinking about? I'd love to hear what you have to say...

Popular posts from this blog

Keeping Secrets

Image
I've been keeping a secret. I'm not even going to make you wait. I'm just going to come out and say it. I really don't like when people say, "Hey, I have news" and then ramble on for fifteen minutes about how they didn't know how to tell you, and would you like the good news or the bad news first. I mean, if you don't know how to tell me, then maybe you should have thought about it a little bit more before you brought it up, because now I'm just sitting here waiting while you find the perfect words to share news that...let's be honest...probably doesn't impact me in the slightest. And as for the good news/bad news question? What do you think? If you're really asking, I'd rather not hear the bad news at all. Because who wants to hear bad news? Unless it's just "bad" relative to the good news, but not really all that bad in its own right, well then I guess I wouldn't mind hearing it. And I might like to hear it first...
Read more

Dilemma

Image
I’m having a bit of a dilemma. Which is putting it mildly. I am not sure whether to shut the factory down for good, or keep it chugging along in its pitiful, yet marginally functioning state. If things were normal, if *I* was normal (cue hysterical laughter here), then I might be happy to let things chug along as they were and see what happens. But things (my body and I) are far from normal and so I feel like I need to make a decision either way. Which really sucks and makes me feel a renewed sense of frustration, irritation and mourning for the sorry state of affairs of my reproductive bits. We recently had an appointment with our RE to discuss our options and see where we stand. It was great to touch base with Dr. L but as expected, nothing has really changed. My fertility has been on a fairly rapid decline and there's not much we can do to change that (FSH last tested at 20). It was good to hear that my tubes are open and that my uterus appears to be in good shape but despit...
Read more

Start Spreading The News...

Image
My trip to New York City was completely amazing but I'm not going to lie....the re-entry to life has been difficult this past two days. After 5 days away I thought I'd return refreshed and ready to jump back onto the work/life wagon...I was wrong. Is it Friday yet? The highlights of my trip were many. But first...I had a moment. When we made it to the hotel, the emotions that had been building the entire day and week came bursting out and I cried and cried. Oh, how I cried! Uncontrollable, sloppy, snotty bawling that pretty much claimed an entire box of tissues. You see, the morning that we left my period started...a full 5 days early. I was crushed. I was sure that this was THE cycle. My emotions got the better of me but I quickly re-grouped and a little voice chimed up saying, “Go splash water on your face and get out! Go and tackle your NYC bucket list head on” And tackle we did! In short, we took in two shows on Broadway, made a visit to the 9/11 Memorial, saw the Statue of...
Read more