Showing posts from September, 2015

Out of Place

I went to Costco this week...I needed vitamins.

When I go to Costco, I feel out of place. I feel as though I don’t belong and that everyone else is in on a secret but won’t tell me. I feel like there are procedures I'm unaware of, a dress code nobody told me about, or some sort of … apparently indescribable something I was never informed about. There’s this looming feeling that everyone’s looking at me, men, women, children … everyone. It doesn't matter. They’re all in on it.

I'm most comfortable in grocery stores, probably from how often I’ve had to go into them (Adam would agree with this). Followed by Chapter's and then every other retail store of every possible kind.

But Costco...that a different matter.

For those of you who don’t know, Costco is one of those bulk stores that sell everything in quantities of a million. You want Kleenex? Here’s 15 large boxes all wrapped up together. Toilet paper? Here are enough rolls that you will actually bring the last half of the…

An Open Letter

Dear Whiteboards,

Do you remember when you were younger and one day at school you had a chalkboard in your classroom and then what felt like just a few days later (because trying to understand time when you are a kid is bananas) the school was filled with shiny new whiteboards? You know what I mean? Although I guess those of you born in the current century probably have no idea what I’m talking about. That’s depressing… does that mean there’s a whole generation of children who don’t even know what a chalkboard looks like? Or feels like? Or sounds like? I might even go so far as to describe that as horrifying except nothing is as horrifying as the chill that runs down your back when a piece of chalk catches and breaks on the board and you can feel the screeching noise all the way to your toes. There are children who may never know that particular brand of torture.

Okay, yes I’m exaggerating. Everyone knows about chalkboards but nowadays a chalkboard seems like a relic of the past or an i…