Thursday, November 29, 2012

Down The Rabbit Hole


“I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it”

This is one of my favourite quotes from Alice In Wonderland. It is a very special quote because it rings true in several areas of my life.

I recently read Alice in Wonderland again, and afterwards watched the Disney version of the movie. If you've never watched it, I would suggest it. Sure there's a hookah-smoking Caterpillar, Alice eating mushrooms and chasing the White Rabbit, and what many would describe as psychedelic trips –  but there are quite a few lessons to be learned. Here are my favourites.

Always Remain Calm - Alice falls down the rabbit hole and has no idea where she will end up, but she remains very calm. As you watch her descend, she never really seems to become unnerved. She even takes a moment to take in the oddness of the things around her. When faced with this matter she adapts quickly and forges forward into the unknown and rolls with the punches.
~ I need to remain calm this cycle.

Know Where You Want To Go - One of my favourite scenes in this movie is the conversation between Alice and the Cheshire Cat when Alice comes to a crossroads. Alice asks the Cheshire Cat which way she should go and the cat responds by saying, it depends on where she wants to go. When Alice responds that she doesn't care where, the Cheshire Cat simply replies “then it doesn't matter which way you go”. This dialogue always reminds me to have a plan. If I don’t have a destination or goal in mind, I have no directions and without directions, I get nowhere. 
~ I need to remind myself of the bigger picture whilst in the midst of TTC.

I think we should all have the courage to be like Alice. Some may argue that Alice didn't speak up enough...allowing her self to be pushed around by talking doorknobs, eating mushrooms under the directions of others, and being told what to do by the mysterious creatures of Wonderland. I think Alice just went with the flow, allowed her curiosity to be her guide, didn't sweat the small things, and enjoyed the ride.
~ I need to just go with the flow.

We should never take life too seriously. We should take the time to live in the moment and enjoy all experiences as they come. The truth is we all have had and will have rabbit hole days because life happens.



Wednesday, November 28, 2012

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

Humans should be eternally grateful it wasn't me who was in Newton's place. If the apple hit me I'd be like "Nice!" & eat it. End of story.




Tuesday, November 27, 2012

A Girl. The Mall. A Wedgie

I was at the mall the other day. Bad idea. 

You see...I have been in a bit of a bubble all month and I was blissfully unaware that the Christmas shopping season had descended upon us. At any rate...I was there...at the mall when it happened.

The Wedgie. I panicked a little on the inside before calming myself and regaining my senses. There must be a way out of this...I thought. "Think Janet" and I did...

Here’s how you can pick your wedgie without detection.

Change Your Stride - Pretend you’re doing some sort of stretching/lunging exercise and make your stride much longer than normal. People would never guess you had a wedgie, they would just think “Wow this person is really into working out while shopping. Look at that stride.” They’ll be amazed. 
Another option is to make your stride extremely short, if you think that’s the best way to fix your dilemma. Going the short-stride route, however, might require a bit more creativity to make it look like a believable exercise. To add some exercise flair to your short stride I suggest developing a small hop or prance-like step by walking on your tiptoes. The short stride is a truly elegant step, one that should be used wisely and sparingly. So, I recommend saving it for fancier events.

Wedgie Wear - If you suffer from wedgies too frequently to constantly be changing up your stride, you’re going to want to conceal your wedgie pick. You might need to change up your wardrobe to arm yourself with cover-up option. Use a purse as a shield against watching eyes. You can also use a shopping bag. I do believe though, that backpacks offer an even better solution. Backpacks not only cover the whole wedgie area but they also have the added bonus of weight and security. By making your backpack extra heavy by buying and adding more purchases to your backpa, you are adding an extra layer of immovable coverage. To take your backpack to the next level of security, fasten the backpack buckle around your waist real tight. Now that backpack won’t go anywhere, but you know who will? You wedgie-free.

Turn a Blind Eye and Immobilize your Hand - If you don’t have an object you can conceal your wedgie with and if backpacks aren’t your style, then you can always try to ignore your wedgie and just keep on walking. This, however, requires a lot of willpower and I applaud you for your fearlessness. If you choose to ignore you should be careful about running into people you might know. I know the only thing on my mind would be my wedgie. They could be telling me something really important, but in my head all I’d be thinking about was my wedgie and if they had a wedgie, and anything wedgie related. I guarantee the conversation would get weird. So, just be prepared to end your conversations quickly or attempt to dodge them completely. Give this person the same amount of attention as your wedgie. None.

So, with a new stride, or your concealing object of choice or your sheer tenacity you’re ready to walk with pride, with grace, and most importantly worry-free…of wedgies.






Monday, November 26, 2012

Weekend Recap In Pictures

I'm still in a funny place. An unexplainable funk that I seem to have fallen into and one that is proving more difficult than I imaged to pull myself out of. 

I'm not sure exactly why I'm in this place. 

I have every reason to be feeling happy and optimistic. I'm healing quite nicely from surgery. Today is CD3 and we have the green light to try and conceive with this cycle. This should fill me with excitement but instead I seem to be feeling rather indifferent about the whole thing. It seems so odd to me that after all that we have been through - all the interventions and medical appointments - that we can now try to make a baby like any "normal" couple. This is so strange to me. 

I'm sure this feeling will pass. It has to. It must.

In the meantime....

It's starting to look a "little" like Christmas in the JaAdam household
Tree is up...but tree is bare...perhaps I'll decorate her soon
Sunday morning pumpkin loaves with pecans...yummm
Sunday evening ribs with Rudy's BBQ sauce all the way from Texas. Thanks to Kelly from Tales From Our Yellow Brick Road. The sauce was amazeballs!


What about you? How was your weekend? How do you deal with the "funk"?

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Be careful with your words. Once they are said, they can only be forgiven, not forgotten.

You know when people say something hurtful without realizing...and you can't be mad at them because they genuinely didn't mean it the way it made you feel?

Yeah..I hate that.

I want to be mad at the person who just made me feel like absolute crap. But I know that they didn't mean for it to be hurtful to me. Ugh. And then I feel guilty for being mad at them for something they didn't mean to do.

Does anyone else ever feel like this?



Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Almost Wordless Wednesday

The sign at the coffee shop bathroom I stopped at this morning said...

 "Employees must wash hands"

I waited for them to come wash my hands for an hour. Nothing. So I left.

via Alana Louise

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Haters

*I'm in a weird place lately. I have no explanation. I'm all out of sorts. I hope to feel like me again soon. I will blog about recovery/next steps soon. It's been a much bigger struggle then I was prepared for. I'll get there. Just need time. So while I try and get back to being me and start talking again about the quest for baby JaAdam...I present to you...more of my nonsense*

If you want to know a sentence that you can utter to make me automatically judge the type of human being you are, try this one on for size: “I don’t like the taste of water”. There are so many things wrong with this statement that I don’t know where to begin. It sends my mind reeling and truly baffles me.

Please do me, you, and Mother Earth (love you, girl!) a favour and don’t even go there. Like, I'm sorry? Your body is 70% H2O. It needs water to function – from your immune system to your digestive tract to your skin, water is where it’s at. Don’t get me wrong – y’all know I love my soda and iced coffee like anyone else. But I also realise the importance of proper hydration and am not trying to get kidney stones, either. Water balances the electrolytes in your body, removes impurities and basically without it, you die.


I don't even really get the argument about not liking the "taste" of water...after all, it has a neutral taste at "worst"...unless you're drinking some contaminated junk...and a delicious one at best. There's nothing tastier than a tall glass of ice cold water on a hot day, I don't care what you say! 

Generally, if you live in North America, chances are that you’re lucky enough to have access to clean, safe tap water, or bottled water. That probably doesn't seem like a luxury but really is. Lots of countries are still fighting to provide safe drinking water to its citizens, which is insane, if you think about it. The fact that we have an unlimited supply of this vital liquid that won’t give us cholera or any other bacterial infection is something to be thankful for.

This is a pet peeve that I didn't even realize I cared so much about until I started writing this. Theoretically it shouldn't even bother me as much as it does, especially since I fancy myself a “live and let live” type of girl. But I've become one of those bizarre converts to the power of water since I started drinking more of it myself. Seriously, guys – don’t be a clown, drink it down! (I just made that up, so don’t try to steal it.)



Blue Water Photography by Carolyn Cochrane via Etsy

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Shawkward

I've been thinking a lot about whether I'm shy or just awkward. Then I was like, “Don’t get down on yourself; you are more than just one thing, Janet! You are a multi-dimensional human being with lots of layers. Why limit yourself? You can be shy and awkward!”

Figuring this out has been really great for me because I've been able to come up with a new phrase to describe myself: shawkward. I know it seems like a pretty simple concept. I know you’re all thinking, “Big deal, Janet, all you did was combine shy and awkward.” But I assure you it wasn't that easy, especially when you consider all of the ways I could've combined shy and awkward. There was shykward but that sounds too weird and I am not that weird. Then there was awkshard, which sounded disgusting and potentially painful. There was wardshy, which just sounded stupid. Not to mention awkshy, shwardy, and shyawk, all of which sound like bird noises and sorry, I don't particularly like birds. But I think shawkward has a nice ring to it.

This phrase has truly transformed the way I feel about myself. I used to get down on myself for being shy and awkward. For example, if I went to a party (being shy and awkward, I go to a ton of parties!), I always had trouble keeping the conversation flowing with people I didn't know. Normally I would go home thinking, “Why are you so weird, Janet?! Why can’t you just talk to a person like a normal human being? Why did you keep saying you were excited? And why, for the love of Pete, did you blush so much? Why? Knowing I am shawkward answered all of these questions. I've been able to take ownership of my shawkwardness. Most importantly, being labeled shawkward has allowed me to feel accomplished and more confident because I came up with such a great phrase.

The best part is, you can do it too! Let’s say you’re also awkward, but you’re goofy and awkward. What about the phrase, gawkward, or awkgawk, gooawk, or gookward? Choose the least stupid or offensive sounding one. Maybe you aren’t awkward at all. Maybe you’re just shy and funny. You could be shunny, fushy, or plain old shyfu. And because everyone is different I urge you to come up with a name completely unique to you. The possibilities are endless!



Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Monday, November 12, 2012

Blushing Belle

I have this tendency to blush super easily. So easily in fact, that it’s really embarrassing. I will even blush even when I am not feeling embarrassed. What is that?! My awkwardness shows, and I don’t like it.

Also, what the hey is up with blushing? Thanks body, thank you so much, for betraying my feelings to the world. If it was at least, I don’t know, an internal feeling of embarrassment that would be okay. It would be so nice if instead of getting a red face, you could just feel a burning in the pit of your stomach. Uncomfortable, yes, but everyone wouldn’t know that you’re uncomfortable. Of course, we would get off way too easy if that was the case.

Some situations are awkward enough without the added bonus of the other person knowing that you’re embarrassed. Blushing is just life’s way of adding a little kick to humiliation. It’s like - wow, this is embarrassing, here’s some confirmation in tomato red…on your face!

Props to actors and actresses that are constantly being asked embarrassing questions. How do they cope? If that was me, I’d be beet red the entire time. Needless to say that it would be awkward for everyone involved. Then people would start commenting about my red skin and there would be some horrible rumor about a medical condition. On the positive side, my face slowly (or not so slowly) going from a normal color to bright red would be turned into a GIF. I would be immortal on the internet forevermore.

I have a tendency to over-analyze. So, you may ask, does the embarrassment end after you’ve gone through some ordeal? No. You’ll be sitting there thinking about it over and over again, and then you’re going to blush…again. By yourself. Because just thinking about it is going to make your body react. Actually, that’s pretty amazing that we, as humans, are able to blush just by thinking about something embarrassing.

I’m going to develop a steely look that I will be able to conjure when I’m feeling the heat crawl up my face. It’s going to be my antidote to my little problem.

It’s just one of those things about being human, I suppose.


Blushing Belle via Reimers Nurseries

So, how about you? Any blushers out there?


Sunday, November 11, 2012

I Remember


In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.


Red Poppy print by Susan Nolker via Etsy

10 Things You Might Not Have Known About Canada

Nine - it's been nine days since my surgery. Nine days of chilling at home recovering...which has been more difficult then I imagined (perhaps more on this later). Nine days of mindless crap television, book reading, 3 am cookie eating and endless entertainment that the interwebs has provided me. Take this one for example...

10 Things You Might Know Have Known About Canada

1. Our Parliament Has a Sanctuary for Stray Cats
Really? How did I know not this? This is in my city!! I should be ashamed of myself. I am a bad Canadian but more importantly a bad Ottawaian. The wee cats live in little wooden houses and even have their own blog and facebook page. No kidding!

2. One of Our Prime Ministers Used a Crystal Ball
William Lyon Mackenzie King (he’s the one on our $50 bill. If I had a $50 bill I'd show you who am I kidding, I never have a $50 bill) also tried to get advice from his dead mother at séances he held in his home. You can still see his crystal ball in the library of Laurier House in Ottawa. So you see...we have nut jobs here in Canada too and they've even run the country. Mac...you are not the man I was always taught to believe you were. I have to admit...I like this about you.


3. We Launched a Secret Project To Build an Aircraft Carrier Made From Ice
Wait...what? This is awesome. How did I not know about this? Patricia Lake, just ten minutes outside of Jasper AB, was the site of 'Operation Habbakuk' a bizarre top-secret WWII military experiment. The 1943 mission was to build a 1-to-50-scale prototype of an aircraft carrier using ice and sawdust. The site is now marked by a roadside plaque and submerged monument. Really Canadian scientists...ice and sawdust?! 

4. Our Beavers Built a Dam Visible From Outer Space
This one I am happy to tell you, I did know about and wow...it's cool. It was first discovered by an environmental researcher using Google Earth in 2007, the dam is located just inside Wood Buffalo National Park, the 2nd largest protected area in the world. The dam stretches 2,790 feet. You should check it out. Go beavers Go!


5. Have a Taste of Home When You Travel
Order a sandwich with Dijon mustard in France or a dressed hot dog in a US ballpark and smile with some national pride: the mustard was likely made with seeds from our Prairies. Canada is the world's largest exporter of mustard seed, 80% is grown in brilliant yellow fields in Saskatchewan which just happens to be the province of my birth. If you ask my Dad where his 3rd (and most amazing) child was born..he'll tell you “6 feet from a Moose's ass”. I was born in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan and yes, that really is the name of a canadian city.


6. Iceberg Vodka? How about Iceberg Wine?
One of the best places in the world to view icebergs is in the village of Twillingate, NL, and it’s a winery in this community that is now using Iceberg water to make wines: Black Currant Iceberg, Bakeapple Iceberg, etc. For fun you can track icebergs by satellite at Icebergfinder.com. As a Newfoundlander, this fun fact makes me very happy indeed. Icebergs are way cool.


7. You Can Drink a Toe Cocktail in Dawson City, Yukon
It’s true! If you make up to the land of the midnight sun drop by the Sourdough Saloon at the Downtown Hotel and for $5 you can try the Sour Toe Cocktail yourself. This bizarre ritual began in 1973 with a miner’s toe that had been amputated in the 1920’s. So ummm...yeah...I'm from a family of Newfies and we have a tradition called "Kiss the Cod". This is done as part of getting "Screeched in". And here I thought the Newfies were the strange ones!


8. Just Think, Being Canadian Means You Could Be From...
Climax, Conception Bay, Snowflake, Moonbeam, Likely, Pooh Lake, Ripples, Paradise, Punkeydoodles Corners, Eyebrow, Elbow, Dildo (a friend once programmed my GPS to direct me to Dildo), Happy Adventure, Love, Snafu Creek, Garden of Eden or Brilliant!


9. Leave Your Door Unlocked in Churchill Manitoba...or Else!
Canada is home to about 15,000 polar bears, and every autumn a few of big white guys wander right into the town of Churchill, MB. Doors are left unlocked so you can duck in if you have an unexpected encounter. Watch the autumn migration on polarbearcam.com. Awww...polar bears are just so darn cute and cuddly!


10. We've Minted Many of the World's Coins
Carry coins in Cuba, Yemen, Columbia or Iceland and you could be more in touch with home than you realize. Our Royal Mint has produced coins for more than 60 other countries. And, we are known for being innovative: this year we are producing a ‘glow-in-the-dark’ dinosaur quarter which in my opinion will never be quite as cool as out loonie or toonie.


Pride of Canada the Maple Leaf by Bruce Stanfield Artist via Etsy


Wednesday, November 7, 2012

I'm still here. I'm still alive. I survived.

Tomorrow marks a week since my surgery and it would appear that after a very rough few days spent back in the hospital, I am finally on the mend. Thank you for all of the lovely messages of support. Please know that this is what keep me going when I was at my lowest low and yes, I'll admit...I did have more than one of those moments in the past six days.

The surgery itself went very well. It was a bigger deal than I was expecting and was quite surprised when I woke up in recovery to discover that I had quite a large incision and a dozen staples holding me belly together. Despite all of that...I am happy. I now have two "open" healthy tubes. This is huge. This means that in six short weeks we can try to make baby JaAdam the good ol' fashioned way. 

video
In the car on our way to the hospital. I may be smiling on the outside but I was terrified on the inside. Don't let the smile fool you.

A few minutes before heading to the OR
A little love and a squeeze before we said goodbye
Good thing I has this trusty picture to guide me on the proper way of putting on my gown. If not for this I might have put the gown on backwards with my lady bits exposed...but I have to wonder...why a duck?
Amazeballs surgery socks from KelBel over at Tales From Our Yellow Brick Road. The best part...I was able to wear these throughout my surgery and the nurses loved them!
I debated on posting these two pictures as they were taken a few hours after surgery but I've always been pretty open and transparent in regards to our infertility struggle and these two speak volumes about just how difficult this journey has been.
I'll be back on my feet in no time and will once again use this little corner of the interwebs to spout my ridiculous banter. See you soon!


Monday, November 5, 2012

Recovery

Surgery went well. Recovery started off really well. And then...

Things went downhill. I'm back at the hospital but hope to be feeling better very soon!

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Hi-a-tus

Hiatus is defined as a gap or interruption in space, time, or continuity; a break.

Today is the day. Its Thursday...also known as surgery day. In just a few minutes we are heading to the hospital. The surgery that I am both incredibly terrified of as well as excited about. 

Terrified - of the surgery, pain, unknown, hospital stay.

Excited - about the possibility of conceiving baby JaAdam the ol' fashioned way.

Just to be clear...if Adam tells you that I am having a lobotomy, he's a liar...

I had that surgery years ago.

I'll likely be on a bit of an hiatus for a few days but fear not my friends...

I'll be back...whether you like it or not!
Keep Calm and Heal On by Keep Calm Shop via Etsy



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