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Showing posts from December, 2012

A Quick Reflection

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In my head, I'm all "whatever, it's almost New Year's Eve again." But if I'm honest with myself, 2012 was a rather intense year and I'm glad it's coming to a close.

2013...I don't know what to say to you except...good luck? 
Yes. Good luck topping what was a very hard and very rewarding year – all bundled into one messy package. I simply resolve to keep going...keep working, keep trying new things, keep meeting new people.

Off we go, my friends. Thanks for keeping me company on the journey, and cheers to a Happy New Year!


Do I Dye? Seriously...I Need Your Advice

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My first adventure with hair dye happened as a twelve year old in junior in high school. My sister (who is five years older) was in high school and one of her classes was cosmetology. It seemed that I was an easy target, I mean model, to test out her skills on. Tina assured me that after she was had worked her magic (experimented with me) I would look amazing. Yeah...that didn't quite happen. What did happen was that I looked like a perpetually terrified tabby cat sporting bold orange stripes. There is photographic evidence of this but I'm not quite ready to share. Perhaps one day.

It would be two years before I was brave enough to try again. I remember that my friend Tammy and I bought two bottles and quietly tip toed upstairs to my bathroom,  giggling about how "dangerous" we were for buying dye that lasted 24 washes that was pretty much identical to the hair color we were already sporting. My parents couldn't tell...nor could any of my classmates the day after …

The Movement of Life

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I've been going through a really hard time lately. This last year of my life has taken a really unexpected turn and things just aren't the same. I feel like I've lost some of my spark.

There are many times in life where you’ll be faced with extremely difficult circumstances, challenging situations, or just downright terrible luck, and it’s up to you how it that will shape the person you are. I wholeheartedly believe in the adage that it’s not what happens but how you react that defines you as an individual. So what do you do? How do you handle yourself when shit happens? I strive to hold to my standards, my ideals of the person I want to be, and sometimes that requires a certain channelling of energies. It requires me to take everything that’s bottled up in my head and let it escape somehow.

How do I escape?
Often I dance when angry or sad. That hasn't always been the specific response...generally I need a physical release of some kind for any real catharsis. Moving, exer…

Dream Jobs

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It’s really important to aim high in life and set some realistic goals...and some not so realistic goals. When you decide what you want to do with your life and design your ultimate dream job, you must go after it as if imaginary rats are nipping at your heels. You may look a little weird but at least you are chasing your dreams!

Here is a list of ultimate dream jobs that me and my voices came up with at 3 am:
Wedding Planner for people who want really, really bad weddingsAustralian Accent CoachA Kardashian – the one that has trouble keeping upGrammar Rodeo ClownMaster of the UniverseA Manager at a Shelter for Homeless Shopping TrolleysReal-life Dramatic Re-enactment ActorBingo Caller on speedMonkey TranslatorHalf-Life CoachInaccurate Weather ReporterSlow Motion Crash Test Dummy
What's your ultimate dream job?

Funny Face Friday

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(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

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The high today is -2C.
The low today is when I ate an entire sleeve of Chewy Chips Ahoy before 10 am. 
They are just so damn chewy gooey.




Universe

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Have you ever just found yourself suddenly asking the universe the ultimate burning question...How did I get here?

What I mean is, you just wake up one day, or it just randomly occurs to you...What frigginhappened? How did I get here?

This is where I am today. 

I'm in a weird place.

Today is 11DPO.

I'm sad at both the thought of not bringing a new life into this world and bringing a new life into this world. 

The world is a beautiful place but the world is also a scary place.

While it may seem overwhelming, I'm at least taking comfort in the fact that I'm pretty sure I am not the only one - I'm not the only person who often wonders...

"What – in this godforsaken world – has frigging happened?"



My Black Sweater

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You are one of a kind.

You mask sweat lines like none of your business, you are wearable with every color*, you match my best skirt and my crummiest jeans, you are cool in the summer and warm in the winter, you have a subtle yet classic ribbed knit and best of all, you make me feel confident and pretty.

Together, we've traveled and gone grocery shopping. We've gone climbing and watched movies. Together, we've eaten too many cookies and baked bread and signed an apartment rental agreement and gotten a job and hiked slippery muddy trails and I’m pretty sure I wore you while sitting in at least six different doctor’s offices, all of which were insanely chilly.

When my brother was a wee child, he had a blanket trimmed in yellow lace. Day in and day out, my brother carried his blanky, his thumb threaded through the care tag on one corner. It followed him everywhere (at 18 he stills sleeps with blanky and he's going to kill me for telling you this) It probably also accompanied …

Funny Face Friday

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Do have you any holiday weekend plans?


Yes Ma'am, No Ma'am

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How many people like to go on a diet?

Ummmm...

I'm going to go with no one...no one likes to go on a diet.

Let's be clear. I'm not a dieter. I watch my diet, but I don't slash it six ways to Sunday to achieve some sort of disillusioned goal. Diets don't even work, do they? Aren't we supposed to just improve our diet habits, not go crazy cutting out staples?

All I've ever wanted was to be semi healthy and therefore feel pretty good about myself. I watch what I eat, but there are no official "rules". I simply avoid shoving a mega-ton of crap into my face on a daily basis. (Weekly, maybe, but not daily.) I like my sweets and I eat them, but I like my veggies and I eat those too. I'm okay with my choices. I usually only feel like a loser when I haven't counteracted the crap with veggies or some type of - uh, what's that stuff called? Oh yeah. Exercise.

None of this was a problem when I was a regular climbing gym-goer. I was a…

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

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*Pushes door to walk out but it doesn't open*

Stranger - "You gotta pull"

Me -"Oh thanks. My next option was to lift from the bottom"



Pick One

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Rolled or folded?

I stared blankly at the nice lady with a confused smile on my face...I was experiencing a moment of sheer perplexity. My conversation at the till in a card and gift wrap shop at the mall had been very interesting and going well until it came to a sudden and abrupt halt. I was asked a question to which I was struggling to find an answer. The question was this…

“Would you like your wrapping paper rolled or folded?”

I'm sorry, what? Can you not start me off with something a bit easier like..."if a one legged hen laid an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to eat a packet of Skittles?"

I felt unprepared for such an attack on my grey matter. After a long pause of bewilderment, and with a fleeting evil grin, I turned the question back onto her...
"Well, I really don’t know. What would you recommend?"
I could see her brain short circuit as she stood there with a blank, confused look. It appeared that no one…

Weekend Recap in Pictures

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Friday night we had an annual dinner for the Alpine Club. Food was fantastic, speaker was amazing kick ass woman climber that inspired me to get my ass back to the climbing gym! 

Saturday evening we had friends over for wine/cheese/Reel Rock movie night. The films were outstanding but I'm still convinced that Alex Honnold is absolutely insane!

It was a pretty good weekend indeed. How was your weekend?

8,755.812

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Eight thousand seven hundred fifty five point eight one two hours hours ago we transferred two beautiful embryos

Little did we know what was to follow...

It was heartbreaking...

But oh how far we've come in a year...

Perhaps a year from this day the outcome will be very different.




Funny Face Friday

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Oh Christmas Tree

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We finally did it...decorated our Christmas tree that is.

The poor thing had been standing in the corner, pretty much naked with all of her branches hanging out wearing nothing but a star on her head for over a week. It was about time we showed some respect!

This is our fifth Christmas as Janet & Adam (yes, Janet must always appear first when referring to us as a couple)  and we have yet to...

a) Agree on a real tree versus an artificial tree
b) How we would like said tree decorated
c) The perfect location for the tree

In short...we've both compromised on all three of these points and when I say "we" what I really mean is Adam seeing as this year and last years tree was artificial, decorated with my stuff and where I wanted it...but anyway...last night as I was putting the finishing touches on the tree, Adam excitedly remembered that he had some decorations in the basement in a bin. This was news to me and now I was interested.

Downstairs he ran and up came "The box&qu…

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

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Broccoli: "I look like a tree" 
Walnut: "I look like a brain"  Mushroom: "I look like an umbrella"  Banana: "Dude?!" Change the topic.

My Truth

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The best and most important gift you can give anyone this holiday and any time of year...a hurting friend, your family, your spouse, the needy, the suffering, your best friend, your mother, your co-workers, and the world around you ~ is what you have to give. Simple as that.

My truth ~ I don't feel like I have anything to give. 

Surgery was a month ago. We can start trying for baby JaAdam now. This should fill me with excitement...but it doesn't.

Why am I feeling this way? Why, when opening the ovulation kit last week did I burst into tears? 

Is it because this time last year I was on the cusp of our embryo transfer? This was the cycle where I did in fact, finally get pregnant. We were elated...Christmas was going to be amazing! 

Oh how naive I was.

Sadly, Christmas Eve brought the devastating news that I was going to miscarry. Those nine days between that Saturday morning phone call and losing the pregnancy were horrific. I was sad, hurt and angry. I did everything I could to disap…

Weekend Recap in Pictures

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This weekend we spent some time at my sister's as well as making the trek into the Big City for the annual Adam's family Christmas get together. Sadly, we've missed the past couple of years...so I'm very happy that were able to make it this year. 

As always, it was a pleasure to spend some time with family that we don't get to see often enough.


How was your weekend?