Saturday, June 29, 2013

They Say...

That absence makes the heart grow fonder. I do hope this is true.

It's been a very long, exhausting, and medically scary week for me. I promise that I will give you all the details soon but currently I am home with my family resting and recovering. The next few weeks will be filled with more tests and I'm hoping more answers but I do believe that the worst is behind me and I go only look forward. 

Much love,

Monday, June 24, 2013

Weekend Recap in Pictures

1. Tina has a runny nose
2. Reid's Dairy
3. Dad beats me with a pool noodle
4. Paul wears a Muskrat hat
5. Mom has backseat anger
6. Silly Dad
7. Sleeping on my sister's office floor
8. Mom is happy again
9. Flea marker smiles
10. Cupcake bences
11. Bacon
12. Sunday drive home

Friday, June 21, 2013

Funny Face Friday

I get to see my family this weekend ☺
My niece is graduating from high school and my parents are flying in to to celebrate. I drive to my sisters this afternoon and we pick them up tomorrow...woot!

What are your plans for the weekend? 

Thursday, June 20, 2013


Elevator etiquette is a lost art.

Like many people I know, I, on occasion take the elevator... or take the stairs but honestly, the lack of oxygen in most stairwells has to be pretty close to the same as Mt. Everest and I'm usually needing to sit down and take a break by the 4th floor; let’s face it… that’s not even close enough to ½ way to call myself anything more than pathetic. So, I ride the elevator which is an interesting event on its own. I'm constantly amazed by the lack of courtesy people seem to have. Granted you'll likely never risk seeing the same people again but still.

I may not always be the sharpest crayon in the box but it just seems like common sense that if you are getting off one floor away from where you are now, you shouldn't decide that you should hop to the “back of the bus” and then make everyone and their 18 lbs of whatever they are carrying get out of your way. Secondly, we're all going to the same place generally so it pretty much confuses the hell out of me as to why I have grown ass men running me over to get into the elevator before me. Really??? Chivalry is dead! Dead I tell ya. Where I come from its common courtesy to hold the door for whoever is behind you. I do this all the time, so why on earth do I seem to find myself surrounded with so many people who let the door slam right behind them when I'm right there? 

Perhaps we should all go back to a time when we learned everything we ever needed to know? I firmly believe all elevators need a modified version of this posted in the back:

Everything I need to know I learned in Kindergarten by Robert Fulghum ...
(and a little of my elevator perspective)
  • Share everything. (Make room jerkface)
  • Play fair. (don’t kill someone trying to beat them to the elevator)
  • Don't hit people. (seriously!)
  • Put things back where you found them. (Don't chew your breakfast in my ear – ok so this doesn't really go here but I needed it to go somewhere and I didn't have anything else to say about this one…?)
  • Clean up your own mess. (Please don't spill whatever food you were eating and just leave it for the help)
  • Don't take things that aren't yours. (wait your turn yit ball)
  • Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody. (my toe would appreciate this gesture)
  • Wash your hands before you eat. (or after you use the bathroom, I don't want to touch the buttons and get your germs. Ewww)
  • Flush. (well yeah.)
  • Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. (or cupcakes)
  • Live a balanced life. (do not stand right on top of me. Respect my bubble)
  • Learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some. (but don't tell your boss I told you to do the first 3)
  • Take a nap every afternoon. (preferably not in the elevator, it’s already pretty crowded)
  • When you go out into the world, watch for traffic, hold hands and stick together. (meh)
  • Be aware of wonder. (whoever farted is not the person you thought)
  • Remember the little seed in the plastic cup? The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that. Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the plastic cup — they all die. So do we. (Some of you will die sooner if you don't learn some etiquette)
  • And then remember the book about Dick and Jane and the first word you learned, the biggest word of all: look. (L-O-O-K for others and hold the damn door if they are coming, don't break your finger hitting the close doors button)
  • Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and sane living.
Think what a better world it would be if we all ~ the whole world ~ had cookies and milk about 3 o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a nap. Or if we had a basic policy in our society to always put things back where we found them and cleaned up our own messes. And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.


Wednesday, June 19, 2013

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

I don't understand how many blueberries you're supposed to eat in one sitting. 10? 2,000? There's no natural stopping point.

Vintage Sweet Dusty Blueberries by Who Knows What via Etsy

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Every Pebble, Rock and Stone

Amongst the million faces that we see everyday, how many do we actually recognize? 

Every single person, hiding a tale, every single person withstanding some pain. You can understand only what a stranger wants you to understand. Masking the burden with a true smile, a simple cover to hide the true identity of their pain. 

And yet, every single shadow is different. Every person has a different pain. A pain more or less exclusive to that person. A pain people need to endure and rise up from. A pain that no matter what you do, will be healed only when the person is truly ready to face and overcome it. And no one knows how long will that take... a month, a year, a decade? And it's so amazing that no matter what the materialistic world offers on the outside, your heart knows what it's holding on to...just like a jewellery box...all the precious jewels and ornaments kept safely inside to save them from the outside damages; but what about the damage caused when two jewellery pieces of distinct nature rub against each other in that same jewellery box? Our heart is like a jewellery box too. It does the same. Keeping precious memories and feelings inside it, safe from the outside world that doesn't understand it and always having two different memories brush against each other. But how long can you hold on? Until it's time to let go. Until it's always a time to let go.

But the things that no one can take away from you...the memories that you created, the memories that were given to you, your feelings, your emotions, your sentiments attached... will always surround you...outside and inside your heart...governing your behaviour psychologically. How much of it do we actually realize? Caught up in the busy world, if only people would stop and think about it.

I talk about those that don't fall in the common category of easy living and smooth sailing life. It's all about the people to whom life means something and living means a little more than something. Every stone endures the changing season, the rough path...a stone. Always in search of a destination. Always settings examples. All you need to do is look. Look at the story of every pebble, rock, stone. And then look at your own story. Nothing will be the same. Every stone has a different story to share, all it requires is someone to hear it out! 

Felted pebbles, rocks and stones by Folk Fairy via Etsy

Saturday, June 15, 2013

I Am Here

This is where I currently am...

Doing some of this...

and this...

Happy Weekend ☺

Friday, June 14, 2013

Gone But Not Forgottem

Today, one year ago, my family was changed forever...miss and think of you often R...we love you.

Lui Collins - Gone But Not Forgotten

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Focus Pocus

I'm at work. I should be working. Can't focus. Eating chips. Taking pictures. Feet up.

Is there anything that you are avoiding today?

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

The worst kind of human contact is "eye contact through that crack in a bathroom stall when you're pulling up your pants" contact. 

True story.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

The Great Pretender

A friend recently told me that lately she's been writing in a diary. "Not exactly like a diary, though," she explained. "I promise to tell myself the real truth."

It's interesting...I totally get what she means. How often do we admit the deeper, darker truths of our lives to anyone, let alone to ourselves? Though I love to write, I have never been able to successfully keep a diary for more than a few months (this blog though is somehow different, don't ask me why). I started when I was a pre-teen, and kept a diary over the three weeks of each year that my family would go on vacation (or move...that happened every couple of years and lasted three weeks) The entries pretty much read like this:

"Today I woke up and ate breakfast. Then we went to the library. I got [insert Judy Blume title here]. We went to the beach. Then we came home and had dinner. Then we got ice-cream. Good night."

Occasionally something exciting happened, like when I learned how to insert a tampon (No, I'm not kidding - there's a big page with the words, in all capitals, of course, as if I was looking ahead and planning how best to embarrass myself in the future, "I Finally Got A Tampon In!!". I often recounted my dreams, gave blow-by-blow accounts of the fights my brother would have with my parents, and fantasized about my fall wardrobe, using diagrams to show my diary the fabulous vests and bracelets I would wear to my first day of the 8th Grade (we were moving again and I had to make an impression).

When I got older and began to have more interesting and more tortured things to tell my diary, I found that it was difficult not to edit myself. Anyone who is honest with their diary most likely has a really depressing collection of entries. You don't take time out to say "Hey Diary, my life is awesome, I'm writing this to you from a party on a yacht...oh, looks like they're about to give me my award, gotta go! TTYL!!!!" My diaries are oddly chipper looking back. Reading them over, it seems like I'm trying to convince myself that I'm having a good time.

Diaries are...rightly...what we spill to when we feel depressed and alone. My entries (sporadic as they are) often start out, simply, "I am so depressed." Then I find that I can't elaborate because what I feel is such a cliche. I want my entries to sound good, dammit. I have always done this, always tinkered with their form and content to make them read like little essays, as if someone other than me might someday pore over them.

The point is that a diary is supposed to be completely unself-conscious. It should be the truth in its most primitive form. My friend has the right idea, telling herself the real truth. I must confess that y
ou won't always read the real, raw truth on this blog; that's why I sometimes feel like the Great Pretender. Like now for example...

Friday will be the 1st Anniversary of my young sister in law R's tragic death and I've tried very hard to pretend that all is well. That Friday is just another day. No big deal. I've got this. It's a lie of course. I have 3 drats of a post marking this anniversary and every time I go back and read it, I find myself editing out the raw truth...just to make it sound better. I'm working on accepting the truth for what it is...raw, real and painful but it's my true truth.

In the end...I am glad though that I write it down and I will work harder to write the real, raw truth. I think rather than a ghost of sufferings past, the real truth might serve as a badge of honor, a reminder that, since simpler times when I spent summer days reading Judy Blume, I've lived through a lot. And lived to tell the tale.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Weekend Recap in Pictures

1. Getting ready to lead up Birthday Ridge 
2. Leading
3. Cabin fun 
4. View of the cliff from the boat 
5. Last pitch of One Pine 
6. The cliff at the narrows 
7. Boat ride 
8. Napping 
9. The view from One Pine


10. 30 second dance party 150 feet up the side of a cliff

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Janet Analyzes Hip Hop

I think today’s hip-hop music gets a bad rap.

Go ahead, take as long as you need to laugh at my hilarious pun. I’ll be here when you get back.

Seriously, though, rappers are often accused of objectifying women or glamorizing things (bad things), through their music. And while I do not mean to make light of any of these offenses...I think rappers and their songs are just misunderstood. If you listen closely to the words of their songs, you will find they are replete with humor, love, chivalry, and even exercise instructions.

Don't believe me? Let me share the words of a popular rap song, and you will soon see what I mean.

Let’s begin with "I Know You Want Me" by Pitbull.

The song is partly in English and partly in Spanish and begins with:

"Haha Its Mr. 305 checkin' in for the remix, you know that S 75 Street Brazil? Well this year gon be called Calle Ocho, Hahahaha"

Okay, I have no idea what this means, but there is a "haha" and a "hahahaha", and I know that means something is funny. And laughter is contagious. I don’t have to know what I’m laughing about in order to laugh. See, I’m doing it now. Ha ha ha. Hee hee hee.

Next is the chorus:

"One-two-three-four Uno-do'-tres-cuatro I know you want me (want me) you know I want cha (want cha) I know you want me you know I want cha (want cha)"

Now here’s something I didn't mention. The songs can be educational. See, we're learning how to count in Spanish. And the whole, I want you, you want me thing...well, there’s nothing quite like unrequited love.

Still not convinced? Keep reading.

Umm…I’m really not sure what the rest of the song is saying. Even the parts in English.

"6 to tha clock, on my way to the top uh, Pit got it locked from brews to the locker, All I.P uh, big and packer, That he's not, but damn he's hot, label fly but Pit wont stop, got her in the car, quit playin' with his (Como?) watch him make a movie like Albert Hitchcock, ha Enjoy Me"

Huh? Let’s try some more.

"Mami got an ass like a donkey, with a monkey, look like King Kong, welcome to the crib, 305 thats what it is, with a woman down ya s*** dont play games, they up the chain, and they let her do everythang and anythang, hit tha thang and they love it gettin' it in, gettin' on, all night long"

Okay, I still have no idea what he’s talking about. But, oh, oh...he mentions donkeys and monkeys, so clearly an animal lover...That’s always a good thing.

The song continues. There’s some stuff in Spanish and more of the chorus, a lot more of the chorus, and, well, I really don't understand most of it.

Not the best example of my theory you may be saying, but let’s review, shall we? We laughed a little, learned some Spanish, the guy wants me, I want him, and he likes animals. ‘Nuf said.


Disclaimer - If you notice any lyrical errors, know that I copied the words to these songs from a website. I checked several different sources to make sure I was as accurate as possible, but there were some discrepancies. Apparently I am not the only one who has no idea what the heck these rappers are talking about.

P.S. Yes...I am totally avoiding any talk of my hostile uterus which is still currently...hostile. Perhaps I'll get back to this part of my life soon...just need a break....ya know?

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

Sharks would look awesome with mustaches, but evolution said no...Cause evolution is a jerk.

Monday, June 3, 2013


Woke up feeling so low and empty. 
Feel like running away from everything. 
Can't cope with anything today. 
Have no energy, just want to sleep. 
Can't eat a thing., I'm just existing.

Perhaps it's because I had very little sleep last night.
Perhaps it's because when I opened my inbox it was flooded with pregnancy announcements and updates that made my hostile uterus clench in despair and sadness...also anger.
Perhaps it's because yesterday was warm and sunny and today was cold and windy.
Perhaps it's because my eye continues to heal thus having to endure more eyeglass wearing (seems silly I know...perhaps even sillier when I write it out)
Perhaps it's because it took me 30 minutes and 10 outfits to find something to wear to work.
Perhaps it's because after enduring a 38 day cycle and another chemical...I feel nothing but hopelessness.

But whatever it is...I hope it passes soon.

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