Thursday, May 30, 2013

I Want To Be A Pusher

“Oshiya, or “pusher”, is an informal Japanese term for a worker who stands on the platform of a railway station during the morning and evening rush hours, and pushes people onto the train. This video is a good example of just how crowded it gets on Japanese trains.”

Man, this job would be so awesome. It’s like it was created just for me. Imagine being able to use a taser too, or better yet, a cattle prod. Oh, dare to dream. I have to go work on my resume now. Oh, and pack for a move to Japan I suppose.

For whatever reason...I cannot stop laughing while watching this did I not know that this was an actual paying job. Just seeing them stuff people onto the train has me all cracked up with the giggles!

P.S. I had a beta drawn yesterday. I'll have the results sometime today. I may or may not blog about this depending on my mood. I was going to blog about the status of my hostile uterus today but the train pushers are funnier!

Update - beta 0.2 - not pregnant...yet again.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

A sign in the window reads CURED MEATS. 
Inside, a salami takes his first steps since the accident. 
A prosciutto learns to forgive.

via Decatur Wine & Food Dude

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Argh Matey

Frownin' Flora Bonny - This is my pirate name. Why the pirate name? I spent some time this weekend finding my inner pirate...

This past weekend was my first Bon Echo weekend of the season and it should have been filled with hours spent climbing some rocks with new friends and was not to be. 

Apparently my left eyeball and I disagreed on what constituted a good time. My idea of a good time was hanging out with old friends, meeting of new friends and many hours spent scaling the majestic cliff that is Bon Echo.

My left eyeballs idea of a good time was to spend the day in the hut while everyone climbed, act up at 10pm Saturday night, spend the next hour with two awesome first aiders trying to soothe my eyeball, a late night cold boat ride across the lake with two of the best guys I know, an hour long drive to the hospital, the next 4 hours at the ER, an hour long ride back to Bon Echo, a cold and very early morning boat ride back across the lake...followed by a few hours of sleep and then home.

I arrived home Sunday afternoon, had a shower and Adam carted me off to the ER again. They confirmed what the Dr at the previous ER had diagnosed me with...

Scratched and ulcerated cornea with a bacterial infection. Fun eh?

I saw the eye clinic yesterday...

Adam was happy about this!

Three different antibiotics and a recheck tomorrow and we'll go from there.

I see with my GIANT pupil...

Here's to hoping that things like much improved tomorrow!

P.S. AF is is CD36 of my 29-30 day cycle. 

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Standing Still

I've been feeling at a stand still lately. I've also been having this nagging feeling that I've forgotten something. I'm in my 30′s, and it seems like time is going by at lightening speed. Most of the time I don’t even know what day it is.

When I was a kid, I couldn't wait to be a grown up and do whatever I wanted and I wouldn't have anyone telling me what to do. Hahahaha! They forget to tell you it’s just as bad once you’re an adult and being a kid is a walk in the park.

With life going by so fast now, I have so many questions. Should I switch jobs? Do I really want to contunine the quest for baby JaAdam? Can I make it as a writer? What in the hell happened to Billy Crystal’s face? I'm constantly thinking about these things and more.

I’ll never forget when I was younger and I thought being in your 20′s was over the hill. Being in your 30′s? Holy shit…get out the walker and the depends.I just feel like being the age I am, I have this itch that I just can’t seem to scratch. Things don’t feel complete yet and I feel like there’s a missing piece in this life of mine but I can’t figure out what it is I'm trying to find.

I've always been unsure about things but it’s different this time. Maybe what’s missing in my life is Nathan Fillion….hmmm.

Maybe no matter how old you are or how much your life seems to be complete, there still feels like something is missing.

Do you ever feel this way?

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

No one eats chocolate in tiny orgasmic bites like the women in the commercials. You shove it in your face hole as fast as you can, then cry.

Amelia Kay Photography via Etsy

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

730.484 Days Ago

April 27, 2011 - On this spring day two years ago I closed my eyes and threw myself straight down the rabbit hole and published my first post on this very blog.

April 27, 2013 - On this spring day, it was my two year anniversary and I missed it.

May 21, 2013 - On this rainy day, I realized that I've missed my two year anniversary. Like really, really missed it!

To say that a lot has happened in the last two years would be an understatement of epic proportions. The last two years have been stuffed full of pain, hurt, despair but also joy, happiness and laughter and to be honest with you - I wouldn't trade these past two years for anything - it's helped to shape me into the woman I am today. 

Happy "belated" Two Year Anniversary to me!

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Pisum Sativum

Peas please me.
Peas release me!
Never forget pea.
It’s all about pea.
So sue pea.
Let it pea.
It wasn't meant to pea.
I need a pea.
Be the best that you can pea.
Can't you pea?
What you think you pea is only what you want to pea.
Eat, drink and pea merry.

This weekend the garden goes in. This weekend I plant peas. I love peas.

There is a ritual to eating peas. Prick one, tiny, round green orb with the tine of a fork. If you have the talent and if you have the patience, you can slide one single sphere onto each tine. This may take the use of your fingers. A very delicate pressure placed on the tender pea so as not to crush even one. POP the skin bursts allowing the thick creamy meat to ooze out and you must start the process over again after licking the sweetness off of your fingertips. Oh maybe a double row, if one is thoroughly daring. Or three. How many peas will each tine hold? Then admire your handiwork. Show off just a little. Wave the fork around a bit; don't worry if the food gets cold. Peas are delightful cool, as well. Build up to the final movement, the denouement. Expectations high. Slide the fork between eager lips, place the rows of peas upon the tongue. Very gently, mouth closed but lightly, then softly slide those peas off of the fork.

Or by the spoonful. Peas swimming in salty butter, dusted with a shower of fine salt crushed between your fingertips. Or just a light dusting of pepper. Teaspoon? Tablespoon? Soupspoon? Pick out any other vegetables. Push the tiny cubes of carrot off to the side of the plate; today we are in a round, green mood. Grasp the spoon tightly in one hand and press the bowl to the surface of the plate. Tilt ever-so slightly towards you then, using the pad of your thumb, push as many peas as will fit into the bowl of your spoon into the upturned, expectant utensil. Coordinate this perfectly with the graceful movement of the spoon itself, lifting, a slow, gentle, sweeping curve, as the spoon is filled with peas. And you are ready to eat.

Sidenote - Flicking peas off the tip of a spoon at each other across the dining room table. Catapult. Fun.

What about you like peas?

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

Just stirred my coffee with a fork if any of you guys are looking for a new bad girl to join your me...maybe.

Coffee Photography by Ana Pontes Photography via Etsy

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Rock Climbing in Newfoundland

I may not have had any gear and I certainly wasn't wearing climbing shoes...but I did find a little spot to climb...

I ♥ climbing and I ♥ Newfoundland

Monday, May 13, 2013

Newfoundland in Pictures - Day 2

Cape Spear...most easterly point in North America

It was so cold and so windy! In the video I'm telling you where I am but the wind is howling. You can get a sense of the wind when I tell you how windy it is...the wind just takes my breath away.

Tors Cove
My brother-in-law Paul, Adam and my Dad
Mom, my sister Tina and I
Flat Rock, Newfoundland
Flat Rock has always been one of my favorite places to visit when  I go home
Adam kept going...and going...and going...

To be continued...

Newfoundland in Pictures - Day 1

My trip home to Newfoundland was A.Ma.Zing

I'll give a more detailed update later but in the meantime...I'll share pictures of our first few days....

Airplane fun!
Taking Adam home to meet the rest of the crazy family. This was his first trip to Newfoundland
You can see where I get my weirdness Mom, sister and I
Middle Cove
Adam jumped the guardrail to get a little closer

It was a little windy at the top of the hill looking down into Middle Cove

 To be continued...

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Happy Mother's Day

 My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until I get home."

My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

 My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father.

 My mother taught me WISDOM .
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

And my favorite...

My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

Happy Mother's Day Ruby Elizabeth...I love you to the moon and back.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

Never sky dived before, but I just zoomed Google maps way too fast. Pure adrenaline.


Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Nineteen Twenty Three

May 8th, 1923...on this date 90 years ago my Poppy (grandfather) Frank Wesley was born. 

This morning, Adam and I board a flight home to St. John's, Newfoundland to celebrate his birthday.

Here's a letter to my Poppy on his 90th Birthday...

Dear Poppy,

Let me simply say that I look at you as a hero, as my hero. You are an amazing man, one that I admire and appreciate and love. You showed me how to have fun, how to enjoy life, what family means, what leadership and sacrifice and responsibility and joy means. You have given me the very essence of how I perceive life and I cannot express how profoundly grateful I am for all that you have done. 

I have so many memories of the kindness, and love and fun that you brought to my life over the years. How they've shaped me into the person that I am today. Many of the best memories are the simplest. Like my fond memory of the crate of oranges that you kept in the side room when we were little. Or all the times you'd give us some coins to skip down to the little store at the corner of Middle Battery Road to buy candy.

Simple, perfect, ever lasting memories.

Thank you Poppy for all of those and many, many more memories and your love. For being my hero. I love you from the bottom of my heart. You are a great man and I am so fortunate and proud to be your granddaughter.

With love,
Janet Lynn

I'm excited...Adam has never been home to Newfoundland with'll be fantastic! I'll be back in a few days. In the meantime...have a great week you lovely peoples!

Happy Birthday Poppy

Monday, May 6, 2013

A New Plan of Attack

It's been 6 months since surgery to repair my tubes and in that 6 months, I've been pregnant in 3 of the 5 months that we've been trying...yet here I sit uterus empty.

It was time for a regroup.

This afternoon we had an appointment with our RE, Dr. L...he's a delightful man with years of experience who in my humble opinion, has the best collection of ties I've ever seen. Some of them have been truly epic. I have a lot of respect for someone that goes a little crazy with their clothing accessories *note to self...check out his socks next time* 

After reviewing the last 6 months he's now moved us from the infertility category into the recurrent pregnancy loss category. 

Big surprise? No. 
Disheartening? Yes.
Is there hope? I truly believe so. 

Our new plan of attack goes a little something like this...

  • Test Adam for Mycoplasma - if it comes back positive it could be the reason that we've had so many losses. If it's present (I was negative) it infects the embryo from the beginning...not good. Adam was tested today. 
  • If I don't get pregnant this cycle (today is CD14) next month Dr. L will do an Endometrial biopsy. This will be sent to pathology and could yield some answers. It will also tell us if my high progesterone (he likes over 27 to confirm ovulation, last month mine was 74) matches my lining. He explained that sometimes the level of progesterone is high in the blood but low in the endometrium and if that's the case, I would need progesterone support. This will also rough up the lining and could help an embryo to implant. 

We also understand that these recurrent losses could just be as simple as "bad eggs". We know that my AMH is low and my FSH has been creeping up and when that happens the quality of an egg is poor. If that poor quality egg gets fertilized, the embryo is abnormal and my body will reject it. 

It's a harsh reality...but it's our reality and we have to accept it. 

But with acceptance come hope and hope is what I choose to hold onto.

There Is Always Hope London Street Art by David's Photography via Etsy

Oh How I Missed Thee

This weekend taught me that yes, you can in fact miss something very much indeed even though that little voice in your head has spent the last eight months convincing you that you didn't miss it at all. That little voice and I will have to have a would seem that we are not on the same page, perhaps not even in the same book.

We spent the weekend climbing at Montage d'Argent and I can say, without a doubt, that I arrived home feeling much more like my "old" self than I have in a very, very long time. 

It was soul soothing.

Rock...oh how I missed thee...
It's like free therapy...
The start of climbing season also herald's the start of "Wacky Sock" season...I love both seasons equally.
Adam taking a crack at "the crack"
Believe it or not...I love sleeping outside in this little tent!
So Happy Together

I had so much fun this weekend that I spent more time climbing, laughing and chatting with friends, new and old...that I didn't take nearly as many pictures as I would have like to, but the good thing is...I have all summer to take as many pictures as I want and I can't wait!

How was your weekend? Did you try something new or meet a new friend?

Saturday, May 4, 2013

I'm Here...

Doing this as we speak...

and hanging out with this fella...

What are you doing this weekend?

Friday, May 3, 2013

Funny Face Friday

Yes...those are glow sticks shoved up my nose...I should be embarrassed...but I'm not! 

What are your plans for the weekend? I'll be rock climbing, first outdoor trip of the season!

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Je suis désolée

“No thanks, I'm good.” 
“This might be a stupid question, but…” 
“I think you already told me this, so forgive me, but…” 
“I have this idea, it might be silly, but…” 
“I don’t think I can make it, but I’ll try…”
“I'm sorry”
“I'm sorry”
“I'm sorry” and...
“I'm sorry.”

Any of these sound familiar?

My friends and I are a group of funny, smart, confident, strong women and yet...I've noticed that either bluntly or subtly, most of our conversation contains some form of apology. I'm sure there have been studies about this pattern of women apologizing more than men and it fascinates me, especially when I catch myself do it. Why am I apologizing for not remembering the friend of a friend’s brother’s name? Why can’t I just say a firm but polite “no” instead of, “Nahh I'm good”?
Why do we do this?

I'm not saying all women do this. I'm relieved not all women do this. I wonder if it’s just a matter of being in a position of power. I suppose it makes sense if at work or on a job interview you have an apologetic tone (whereas the person interviewing you does not) because you don’t want to step on toes and admit it, you just want to be liked. (Again, I know, not all women share this thought, and that’s great too.) Is it our generation? Are we so used to texting and email that we've viewed the phone and “real-life” conversation as something uncomfortable? Once our computers are taken away from us, does our confidence go with it? The more I think about it, the more instances I find. The time I asked a question in a gathering with friends and prefaced it with, “This is going to maybe sound like an insult but I swear I don’t mean it that way, I just have a question…” or when my drink is made incorrectly at the local cafe and I practically fall over myself apologizing explaining that this wasn't what I ordered and can you please remake it, I'm so sorry. Like it’s my fault you made me a hot chai latte even though I asked for iced. And it’s not a big deal, that’s not my point. The big deal is that I feel like it’s my fault.

Be honest with this something that you do? Really think about it. If someone asks you to attend something that you really don’t want to attend, do you hesitate, put on a happy face and say something like, “I don’t know, I’ll have to check my schedule, but it really sounds like fun, I hope I can make it, I'm sorry I just don’t know yet!”? I'm not saying you should reply, “Your party sounds lame, shag off” but there’s a polite yet firm way to say no. I hate when people say, “I wish I could be there.” There’s no wishing. If you want to be there, be there. You don’t need a genie in a bottle, you just need your car keys.

Let’s make a conscious effort not to apologize for things that we have no need to apologize for. Don’t say “I should have”, “My bad”, “Is that okay with you?”, or any other form of apology unless it is absolutely necessary.

There are too many people who didn't deserve my apologies and I just gave it to them anyway.

Sorry I'm not Sorry card by Jam Card via Etsy

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

That awkward moment when you're walking down the stairs and you think theres another step and you hulk stomp the ground.
Hallstatt Stairs by DDubPhotog via Etsy
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