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Showing posts from 2015

Funny Face Friday

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(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

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Blood is thicker than water, but maple syrup is thicker than blood. So pancakes are more important than family. Pancakes for the win.

Eight Scary Things

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Almost three years ago I blogged about the 10 Things You Might Not Have Known About Canada. Providing snippets of completely useless information. To put it quite simply, it's what yours truly does best. So in keeping with "what I do best", I present to you...

8 Scary Things You Didn't Know About Canada
Forget Canada’s reputation as a safe and tranquil country. The Great White North has its fair share of unnerving skeletons lurking in its closet. Unexplainable, hair-raising events routinely scare the living daylights out of unassuming Canucks. Lock all your doors and give one last glance over your shoulder – here are 10 goosebump worthy secrets about Canada. Canadian Lake Monsters Abound - You’ve heard the tales of curious travellers flocking to Scotland in the hopes of catching a glimpse of the famous Loch Ness Monster. But did you know that Nessie isn’t the only sea monster mystery worthy of attention? Turns out, Scotland’s elusive serpent has plenty of Canadian compet…

Out of Place

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I went to Costco this week...I needed vitamins.

When I go to Costco, I feel out of place. I feel as though I don’t belong and that everyone else is in on a secret but won’t tell me. I feel like there are procedures I'm unaware of, a dress code nobody told me about, or some sort of … apparently indescribable something I was never informed about. There’s this looming feeling that everyone’s looking at me, men, women, children … everyone. It doesn't matter. They’re all in on it.

I'm most comfortable in grocery stores, probably from how often I’ve had to go into them (Adam would agree with this). Followed by Chapter's and then every other retail store of every possible kind.

But Costco...that a different matter.

For those of you who don’t know, Costco is one of those bulk stores that sell everything in quantities of a million. You want Kleenex? Here’s 15 large boxes all wrapped up together. Toilet paper? Here are enough rolls that you will actually bring the last half of the…

An Open Letter

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Dear Whiteboards,

Do you remember when you were younger and one day at school you had a chalkboard in your classroom and then what felt like just a few days later (because trying to understand time when you are a kid is bananas) the school was filled with shiny new whiteboards? You know what I mean? Although I guess those of you born in the current century probably have no idea what I’m talking about. That’s depressing… does that mean there’s a whole generation of children who don’t even know what a chalkboard looks like? Or feels like? Or sounds like? I might even go so far as to describe that as horrifying except nothing is as horrifying as the chill that runs down your back when a piece of chalk catches and breaks on the board and you can feel the screeching noise all the way to your toes. There are children who may never know that particular brand of torture.

Okay, yes I’m exaggerating. Everyone knows about chalkboards but nowadays a chalkboard seems like a relic of the past or an i…

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

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The Klondike Bar found out what I did for it, and now it's blackmailing me.



Hey I Heard You Were a Wild One

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Eleven months...this is how long my little man has been giving us a run for our money.

He's a little climber, he'll be up the stairs in the blink of an eye & is always finding ways to escape anywhere we put him and also likes to get himself stuck under varying pieces of furniture and toys. He squeals, grunts & makes zombie noises when he sees something he wants, and doesn't usually stop until he gets it or is distracted well with something else. Changing his diaper and getting him dressed are Olympic sports these days. If he's not sleeping, he's moving!

Little man is stubborn & wild, but sweeter than sugar.

He loves to be rocked & sang to...singing George Ezra's 'Budapest' will calm him down anytime he's crying. Adam has been singing this to him for months and if it plays on the radio, he'll stop what ever he's doing and immediately demand to be picked up and held as long as it plays. Songs over and he's back to business. He…

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

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Just looked at the bottom of this can of whoopass. It's expired.




Who Are These People and Why Do We Need Them - Part II

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I don't often drink coffee but this morning I was craving a cup (perhaps because Lochlan was awake every two hours last night) so I made a pot and poured myself a cup of coffee. I opened the fridge and reached for the creamer - Silk french vanilla - perfect - a lovely treat (that I don't remember buying. I blame the lack of sleep). As I shake and pour ( I didn't even need directions, imagine that), I notice yet another warning label on the container. WARNING: NOT TO BE USED AS INFANT FORMULA. Okay...I have to ask...who in their right flapping mind would pour Silk french vanilla creamer into a baby bottle and say "Brilliant! Now I don't have to go the store today for formula!" Are the legal departments of these companies sitting around thinking these things up or are they actually doing this and calling the 1-800 number on the back of the product?

A few others for you to ponder and then I will sign off...

I merely looked into the medicine cabinet at home for so…

Forty

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On August 3rd I tuned 40 years old.

I was actually looking forward to turning 40. With each passing decade, my life gets better and better. My twenties were somewhat of a mess. My thirties were better as I met my partner, had great employment and had a baby.

Standing on the doorstep of my 40s is a positive for me. I know that I have an amazing partner and I am truly lucky to have him. I also know that my love for my son knows no bounds and watching him grow is an indescribable experience. The 40s will bring me more peace, within me and on the periphery. It does not scare me, although that may be due to the fact that everyone thinks I am in my early thirties (Good genes, I guess!). I know my life has improved over time and turning 40 will not change that. It is just a number, right?

Why should it matter? I don't feel 40, but when I turned 30, I didn't feel that, either. I don't know what it is supposed to feel like and the truth is, why should I even spend time worrying about…

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

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Technically there is a lot of food in this house but none it is sweet or microwaveable therefore there is no food in the house.

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

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This is just a quick shout-out to bread bowls, waffle cones and other edible containers. You guys are doing a great job. Keep up the good work.



Illuminate

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I love candles!

But I don’t simply love candles...I am a freak for candles. I would be so down with being transported back to say, the early 1800s because, well first of all time travel equals awesome, but also think about all those candles. Back when there wasn't electricity...everyone rocked candles. Back then people would even have these little candle trays they would use to carry their candles around on and everything was always kind of terrifying because the only thing lit at night would be the area around the candle which sounds both very romantic and very scary and possibly both at the same time which is fun too.

Nowadays candles are just sort of tossed aside as this decorative item that costs way more than I am willing to spend on an average meal so my candle buying is limited. I mean I would love to purchase a thirty-dollar homemade organic wax candle that smells exactly like a unicorn cried into a grapefruit but I’d also like to feed and clothe my family. So nowadays, gett…

Nine Months

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Someday I'll get my act together, my thoughts on an even keel and back to writing again. 

Someday.

Someday...when I'm getting more then four hours of sleep in a row. 
Someday...when Lochlan naps for more then forty minutes at a time. 
Someday...when I'm done updating my resume and looking for work. 
Someday...when I've sorted day care out. 

Someday. 

Until then...here's Lochlan in his ninth month...














A Love Affair

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I love pizza. So I am going to tell you a little bit about my love affair with pizza. (Aren't you excited? I’m excited! I can’t even tell you how long I've wanted a forum to gush about the virtues of pizza!

My favorite kind of pizza is plain cheese pizza. Cheese pizza is pizza in its purest and most delicious. Frankly, I don’t think there is anything that tastes better on this sweet planet than a cheese pizza.

Sometimes when I’m thinking about what I want for dinner and I’m mulling my options with Adam or a friend, if someone mentions pizza then that’s it, we are getting pizza. If it’s not already on my mind (which it almost always is), and then someone else puts it on my mind, then there is almost no way I’m going to be eating anything other than pizza.

Here’s another important thing about my love affair with pizza...I'm not a pizza snob. I love it all. I love McCain, which is barely pizza, and I love the pizza you get at movie theaters and I love the Loblaws pizza and I l…

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

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I would organize my thoughts but I'm afraid they would form a union and demand benefits.

Seven & Eight

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Middle of The Day

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Dear People in Coffee Shops in the Middle of the Day,

Hi! I have a lot of questions about you! See, like you, I am one of the people who can sometimes be found in a coffee shop in the middle of the day (even more so now that I'm on maternity leave), and I cannot help but wonder about my cafe squatting brethren. I mean, I know why I'm here...I'm here because I have an 8 month old and and sometimes I get bored being at home all day, therefore the need for a change of scenery, leads me to the closest coffee shop. But what about you? It’s almost 2 in the afternoon on a Thursday and you are in a coffee shop! Are you like me? I want to know what you are doing here and I want to know your story! I want to know everything about all of these people in the coffee shop in the middle of the day!

What are you doing? Are you on Facebook? Instagram? Pinterest? All three at once? Are you inventing a new social media website? Are you emailing with someone? Who? What are they saying? Are you …

Pliers, Ropes, Chain & Pokers

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Forget pliers. Forget ropes, chains, red-hot eye pokers. The greatest form of psychological torture, sure to elicit screams of mercy from any terrorist on 24, is standing in a twenty-five person line at the post office and watching as two of the three clerks...who have been moving at speeds generally reserved for slowly eroding rock formations...put "closed" signs in their windows as they sit there, averting their eyes, typing on their computers.

Ugh!


Six Months

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Lochlan was 6 months old on March 12th...