A few others for you to ponder and then I will sign off...
I merely looked into the medicine cabinet at home for some easy winners of the useless label contest:
- Tylenol PM - May cause drowsiness - I paid good money to fall into a deep-coma-like sleep..it better cause a whole lot more than drowsiness.
- Windex - as you know from My Big Fat Greek Wedding - a staple in any greek home. Warning: Do not spray directly in eyes. Really?
- Bandaids - Directions: Cover affected area with Bandage. Really? I was thinking I'd cover my eye so I didn't have to look at the wound.
- Pepto - Do not use if you have a black stool. My friend has 3 black stools at her breakfast bar. I need to warn her...she shouldn't never have this bottle in the house.
Also, if we are going to continue to insist on catering to those that need to be pointed out the obvious, then they should also have to wear a warning label. Imagine how much easier our lives would be then. Imagine getting in the returns line at Walmart behind someone who's warning label says "WARNING: this person is prone to ask too many questions of the clerk returning the item, may also contemplate applying for credit card and take too long looking for ID. Prone to text during transactions as well. Proceed with caution."
Wouldn't we be so lucky to know these things ahead of time in our daily lives. I imagine my warning label would go a little something like this...
"Warning, this woman tends to be cranky when tired, has a blatant overuse of sarcasm, and known for an F bomb or two, use caution when entering her personal space."
What would your warning label say?