Just A Little Off Kilter....

When you find yourself in the midst of an existential crisis, it is often helpful to consult the internet.  The internet is just full of useful ways to find out who you are. For example, I can go to Urban Dictionary and type in "Janet" and it will tell me all about myself and what exactly I mean to the world: 1. Janet 106  up ,  193  down Term for the secretive airline owned by EG&G on the northwest side of McCarran Airport in Las Vegas. "Janet" airlines is a fleet of 737-200's that shuttle workers to and from the military instillation at Groom Lake, more commonly known as area-51. The airplanes are stationed at a guarded terminal at the airport. It is rumored that 'Janet' stands for "just another non-exsistent terminal". Janet airlines is the basic mode of transportation for area-51 workers to travel to and from the base. buy janet mugs & shirts by  Mr. Tibbs   Jun 29, 2005  share this   add a video Confusing? Yes.  Tru...

Today is cycle Day 7 of Frozen Embryo Transfer #1 - hopefully our one and only FET cycle - Protocol looks a little something like this: August 23 - Start Estrace September 6 - Ultrasound and blood work Sometime after the 6th - start Progesterone in oil injections & suppositories September 12 - Embryo transfer September 26 - Beta Today I feel hopeful. I really do believe that good things will be coming our way and I will do my very best to think nothing but happy, hopeful and positive thoughts. Adam and I really are very lucky that we are able to try again so soon and for that I am grateful. Think Happy Thoughts by Spring Tale Studios via Etsy Are you "Thinking Happy Thoughts" today?

I am not afraid to admit that I tend to be a little off my cracker, a little crooked in the brain pan...but you all seem to love me anyway. It's because of this unconditional love that I am not afraid to admit that sometimes I have very strage, very weird and just plain bizarre dreams. Take for example the dream I had last night. Here's a visual for you... For real,  t his  is precisely the reason I am now afraid of marshmallows. I don’t want to end up skewered and toasted above a burning house.  Stay Puft dude and the Michelin man have both scarred me for life. And you know what? I used to love S’mores .

          Happy Friday!

I sometimes find myself in a crowded place - in this case it was last night at the mall after my haircut sipping a lovely cup of tea from Teatopia -  tucked back into the comfort of a corner or wall where I can sit idly and watch my surroundings pass in all their different speeds. Some people at Mach 3… some at a slower more appreciative pace. All of them with an agenda of their own and entirely clueless as to how fascinating they are to me. Most of them, nearly all of them are so wrapped up in whatever they’re doing that they don’t even notice me. Those who do are greeted with a simple smile but still no insight into the inquisitive nature behind my purpose, to which of course there really isn’t one. After all…. I’m simply observing society. I wonder where these passersby are going… each of them. And what they’ll do when they get there. Who are they? What type of family did they grow up in? I know that I’ve had my own set of struggles and unique stories and if anyone ever asked m...

It seems that I have lost my "Happy" I was pretty sure that I knew just where it was but I turned my back for just a second and when I looked back...it was gone.  If you see my "Happy" can you please return to me? I'd really like to have it back. 

The difficulty of IVF, or of any fertility issue I'm discovering, is the hope and the shattered hope, the dream that it might happen this time and then it doesn't happen.  How do you gather your strength to get up and try again after a failed IVF?  Unfortunately, I now know only too well what it feels like to have your dream shattered. If you allow it to, I would imagine that a f ailed IVF can quickly overcome your life, this suffering can have a snowball effect, and before you know, it may feel as though you are in a dark space and can’t get escape. This however is not going to happen to me...I simply will not allow it to! This is what I have decided... 1. Don’t relive the memories. The past belongs in the past, and it can’t be changed. Reliving my painful memories won’t make my future better. Shut iron doors to the past, it is the history, the present is all we are guaranteed, so live it the best way you can. Try not to worry too much about the future be...