Hope Street

The difficulty of IVF, or of any fertility issue I'm discovering, is the hope and the shattered hope, the dream that it might happen this time and then it doesn't happen. How do you gather your strength to get up and try again after a failed IVF? 


Unfortunately, I now know only too well what it feels like to have your dream shattered. If you allow it to, I would imagine that a failed IVF can quickly overcome your life, this suffering can have a snowball effect, and before you know, it may feel as though you are in a dark space and can’t get escape. This however is not going to happen to me...I simply will not allow it to!


This is what I have decided...


1. Don’t relive the memories. The past belongs in the past, and it can’t be changed.

Reliving my painful memories won’t make my future better. Shut iron doors to the past, it is the history, the present is all we are guaranteed, so live it the best way you can. Try not to worry too much about the future because you have little influence over it. Move on with your head held high no matter how broken inside you might feel. Find strength in what you believe in.
2. Let go of the blame. There is nothing I could have done better to improve the situation. I did all that I could have, and to the best of my ability.
Let go and look to the future.
3. Pick myself up as soon as possible. Don’t allow self-pity to set in. Get up...make a plan of how I will move forward.
Adam and I are lucky enough to have six frozen embryos and for that I am incredibly  grateful. We've decided that we are going to try again with a FET - frozen embryo transfer - right away. In fact, today is Day 1 of that cycle. We'll have our new protocol later today, tomorrow I start Estrace and I guess we'll go from there and see what happens. Today for the first time in a couple of days...I have hope...hope for what might be...hope for the future. I think today is as good a day as any for a walk down Hope Street.
Hope Street by Heidi Adnum via Etsy


Comments

  1. It's easy to let this process kick your butt and knock you down. Sometimes it's difficult to get back up, but it's a must. I admire your fortitude and resiliency. I look forward to celebrating your future BFP!

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  2. I love your 3 points- so true yet so hard to remember some days!

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