You know those early pregnancy symptoms everyone's always going on about? The sore breasts, the pelvic fullness, the strange uterine cramping that some women claim they feel starting, like, five minutes after getting it on (or, in the case of infertility patients, seven and a half minutes after embryo transfer)?
Well, I have those. But so does everyone else who's ever been dosed with 600 mg a day of progesterone! I know what progesterone supplementation felt like but is this what being pregnant feels like?
I consult my insides a million times a day, ascribing the symptoms to anything but pregnancy. But because I'm hopeful, I still want to believe. That feeling of pelvic heaviness? I have variously decided it's embryos implanting, colon blockage, embryos implanting, a deep rumble of foreboding, embryos implanting, misplaced car keys, embryos implanting, and an early indication of a summer of punishing thunderstorms.
That cramping? Baseball-sized tumor. Implantation. Uterine perforation. Implantation. Yet another layer of plush bloody wall-to-wall ready to be shed. Im-plan-ta-tion?
The breasts — oh, the breasts. I can't be sure, but I suspect that sometime in the night, while I lay in dreamless wake-up-to-pee-three-thousand-times slumber, the Breast Fairy brought me implants, a procedure from which I have yet to recover. They're bigger, they're tender, and they hurt when they're jostled. I would rather believe I'm pregnant, though - that seems like a much better option than having been visited by some creepy Fairy while you sleep that goes around to homes all over the world delivering breasts.
Progesterone or pregnant? We'll know tomorrow.
|Tomorrow by Laura Geroge via Etsy|
I hope your tomorrow will be awesome!