Bah Hum Whatever

I have no Christmas spirit.

None.

Zip.

Zero.

I’m not a huge holiday person to start with. The Christmas decorations I own are neatly contained in one box. I don’t bake cookies, I don’t do cards, I own no holiday clothing. Not even socks. But usually I have some engagement with the season. A little part of me connects with the general excitement and allure. I hear a traditional song and smile. I find a gift for someone that I think they’ll love. I eat a cookie (that someone else has baked) and relish the crumbs.

This year...nothing. I know Christmas is still a month away but yeah.


A variety of factors are playing in. Work is incredibly busy, which means all I have energy for when I get home is sitting. Sometimes even that gets overwhelming. Traveling to connect with family sounds incredibly tiring, regardless of the end benefits. Decorating and baking equal clean up. Christmas parties mean leaving the house and the last thing I want to do when I get home from work is go out again and when I do go out, to the mall for example...all I see are pregnant women and families with babies. I find myself sighing after each encounter, my heart filling with sadness. It's just a painful reminder that my angry, hostile uterus remains empty.

But then...

I think about my life - my family and friends, my health and the health of those I love, a beautiful safe home to go home to, the list goes on. So when it comes right down to it, I've got NOTHING to complain about.

I still don’t have any Christmas spirit. But I think I've got a little Christmas perspective at least, and for now, that’s going to be enough.



What about you...are you feeling the Christmas spirit?

Comments

  1. I am sitting here so happy that I am not the only person feeling this way. Also to be fair, I have never liked Christmas and I feel like Thanksgiving is totally overtaken by Christmas every year. I wanted to go on a nice vacation and just forego the holiday, but the husband didn't buy into that idea.

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  2. I can definitely relate. It's been much harder to feel excited about the holidays this year than it normally is for me. You are not alone, friend!!

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  3. Ugh. You know, there is nothing that says you have to have "Christmas cheer." Well wait, EVERYTHING says that, doesn't it? Oh well. I say do what you want. The holidays can be overwhelming.

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  4. A healthy does of perspective can be important...but it doesn't make the hurt any less. You are in good, grinchy company.

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