Holy Shit Balls

I hope my title did not offend you, it's just that I'm simply trying to convey my reaction when I looked down at that sad looking little piece of plastic that I had recently peed on a cold and dismal January morning and saw two lines starting back at me.

"Holy shit balls" 

There simply can't be two lines...there are never two lines...things that Janet pee on don't produce two lines, only one line. Janet's hostile uterus had rejected all previous attempts to be occupied so those two lines must be some kind of mistake. 

I went about my day. 

Next day...two lines a little darker.

Third day...two lines yet a little darker. 

Funny universe. Very funny. You are such a cruel tease. This is what I was telling myself. I was preparing, perhaps even trying to protect myself from what I believed to be, the inevitable, heart wrenching disappoint I had gotten used to. 

It's now Monday, January 6th and on my way to work, I stop in an buy a digital test. I clutched said test tightly in my hand all the way to work and take it as soon as I drop my things at my desk...

Cue more "Holy shit balls"!

I hadn't seen a positive on a digital test since December 2011 and we all know how that turned out. To be honest...I still had doubts. All of the negative emotions welled up and threatened to overcome the joy I felt at seeing 'Pregnant'. I sat at my desk trying to decide if I wanted to go through the torture of a beta draw. My period was still a few days away so I'll wait until I'm late. I see sawed back and forth before finally making a decision. 

Beta it was. 

First beta at 10 days past ovulation was 34. Progesterone was 116. I’m pregnant. But whoa, reign yourself in…my clinic was not confident in this number and advised me things could go either way. Repeat beta 3 days later.

Second beta at 13 days past ovulation was 200. Progesterone was 99. I’m pregnant. But whoa, reign yourself in…my clinic still wasn't happy as they wanted to see a beta of at least 400 and reminded me that things could go either way.  This didn't make a lot of sense to me, I thought there was a great increase in 3 days but I held back my excitement just in case…I know how these things can go. Let’s redraw in five days.

Third beta at 18 days past ovulation was 2, 318. Progesterone was 81. I’m pregnant. No whoaing this time, no reigning myself in…my clinic was very happy with this number and for the first time I heard those beautiful words “Congratulations Janet, you are pregnant”!

We scheduled an ultrasound for the next day at 19 days past ovulation and saw this…
One beautiful gestational sac in my uterus.

Second ultrasound five days later showed this…
One beautiful yolk sac.

Third ultrasound ten days later showed this…
One beautiful 8.2 mm fetal pole with a heartbeat!

Fourth ultrasound five days later showed this…
One beautiful baby that’s grown from 8.2 mm to 14.1 mm with a heart rate of 161.

Holy shit balls…there really is a baby in there!

Fifth ultrasound at 9 weeks 0 days showed this…
One beautiful baby that’s grown from 14.1 mm to 23.2 mm with a heart rate of 176.

Graduated from my fertility clinic.  

To be continued...

FYI - Beta at 6 weeks 1 days was 37,042. Progesterone was 71.4 and beta at 8 weeks 0 days was 164,116. 


  1. I am so excited for you- I'm so glad you kept trying! You've certainly been through the ringer, and I'm thrilled you finally have a healthy pregnancy- and a perfect tiny babe growing in that belly!

  2. I think I might have said something very similar when I first saw your pregnancy tests :)

  3. I am so excited and thrilled for you. I wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy, from one fertility challenged person to another.

  4. I just couldn't help but thinking that after you showed all those ultrasounds w/ one perfect yolk sac/baby/etc...the last one was going to be a OMG SURPRISE THERE ARE TWOOOOOOO!!!! Hahahah. THAT would have been holy shitballs!!!

  5. Janet- so happy for you. Please keep us updated!

  6. This is amazing news!! You deserve it! Congrats!!!

  7. I love this post!!! Love every detail of the updates :)

  8. Holy Shit Balls!!!!!! This is the best news ever, so happy for you!!!!

  9. This is amazing news! I'm so glad you finally filled us in! Wow - you've been busy over the last couple months - Your first trimester is almost over! So happy for you!

  10. Holy Shit Balls!

    Great news. Congrats!!!

  11. Congratulations!!!! So happy for you...

  12. I am over the moon happy for you!!

  13. Dude. Just. Dude. My jaw is like. I can't. Janet! This is so fucking awesome!


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