Then Verus Now

Here are just a few of things that I've done in the past three years that I would not have done previously...
  • Put peanut butter on a piece of toast while peeing.
  • Brush someone’s teeth against their will.
  • Blow on food while it’s in someone else’s mouth.
  • Help someone else blow on food while it’s in someone else’s mouth.
  • Eat food that’s fallen out of someone else’s mouth.
  • Eat food you found on the floor.
  • Chase someone at full speed through Home Depot.
  • Eat more then a dozen snack size chocolate bars at 4 am while watching Paw Patrol...alone.
  • Sing the Paw Patrol theme song to yourself while driving...alone.
  • Bribe someone to poop with a Dora fruit flavored gummy vitamin.
  • Eat food you found under the table.
  • Eat candy you found in a shoe.
  • Wipe somebody’s nose with your bare hand.
  • Eat baby food.
  • Give yourself a crotch bath with baby wipes.  
  • Pretend you’re terrible at basketball using a toddler sized net.
  • Finish someone else’s soggy cereal.
  • Blame a fart on a child.
  • Blame a child’s fart on your spouse.
  • Get someone dressed while you’re in the shower.
  • Cut up a grape.
  • Almost agree to cut up a raisin.
  • Pretend to enjoy the flavor of children's medicine .
  • Ask someone why their hair smells like yogurt.
  • Ask someone why their hair smells like your antiperspirant.
  • Put someone else’s toenail clippings in your pocket.
  • Let someone watch you poop while they stare blankly eating a popsicle.
Again...these are just a few. There are more. So many more.


  1. ok that last one is the best and I have totally been there!!


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