Fear Of The Unknown

My eyes filled with tears immediately upon waking this morning.

Today is Mammogram Day and I am sick-to-my-stomach scared. This is no routine mammogram – this is my very first diagnostic mammogram; ordered by my doctor following an examination of the lump I discovered in my left breast last week. First up this morning, I'll have the mammogram and then I'll have an ultrasound. 

I hope it's nothing, I'm sure it's nothing. It has to be nothing.

The truth is, I'm very much afraid. Not of mammograms or biopsies or examinations. I’m 36 years old and I’m afraid of the unknown. I’m afraid that my luck may have run out. Let's face it...luck hasn't exactly been on my side lately. As my sister says "If it wasn't for bad luck, Janet wouldn't have any luck at all".

I am afraid.

But I’m also strong and resilient. And I’m determined to smile my way through my fears and tears.

Strong, Beautiful, Brave by Nan Lawson via Etsy


  1. I'm sorry Janet, just one more scary unknown. Hope all goes well and know that I am thinking of you. Everything bad always seems to happen in pultiples hey? I hope that when the good starts coming it really pours in too.

  2. Good luck, I'll be thinking of you. Sorry you've had such crappy luck lately.

  3. Good luck today. It has to be nothing...

    1. Oh and I've had 3 of those. 1 was fat and the other two were fluids, they just aspirated the last two.. Hope it's something like that for you. Fingers crossed.

  4. Good luck today Janet- thinking of you.

  5. Good luck today - I hope the test is already over and that you will get your results quickly and that they will not be scary whatsoever.


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