A Moment. Not A Proud One.

It's been an incredibly productive day.

I was up early and I've crossed many things off of my very lengthy "To do List". Adam and I ordered Indian for dinner, we caught up on some television. Adam left to pickup/drop off my niece. I was alone. I logged onto Facebook....

Then it happened.

Every. Single. Time. that I've logged into Facebook the past few days from my phone (which is how I normally log into Facebook) I've been greeted with the "Total Pregnancy Canada" app in big, bold, bright, can't miss em letters & pictures. Every. Single. Time. I've tried to ignore it and quickly scroll past.

Tonight I did not succeed. I stared at that app. It stared back.

I burst into hot, angry, snotty tears.

Today is 10 dpo. Ten days ago I saw the most positive OPK that I've ever seen. We covered the days leading up to, of and past with gusto.  I was feeling good. I was feeling positive. Then I had that dream, followed by another last night, followed by a very negative test this morning.

It hurts. It just hurts.

I had a meltdown. Not a proud moment.

Facebook...my empty, hostile uterus says "Up yours".




Comments

  1. Ugh. Friend...I'm so sorry. :( Stupid FB and its day-ruining capabilities. Stupid worthless uteruses. Stupid OPKs. Stupid everything. :(

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  2. I'm sorry...sending lots of hugs. I hope this cycle surprises you!

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  3. Make that a double: FB...UP YOURS!

    Every time I log on I get the advertisement that says, "How To Get Pregnant Fast: I struggled with infertility for three years until I discovered this. Click for a step-by-step guide". Ummmmm.... No thanks!

    I feel the pain. Hang in there girl.

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  4. Ugh...what an emotional cycle (literally and figuratively). Facebook is evil and mean. But then, apparently so is life sometimes. Have a glass of wine, take a hot bath, or watch a stupid movie. In other words, take care of yourself.

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  5. Face book is always suggesting awful things to me too. Most recently how to reduce my belly fat- I flip off my phone and face book on nearly a daily basis. Hang in there, friend!

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  6. I'm so sorry Janet. Facebook can suck it. Sending huge hugs.

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  7. Meltdowns are totally ok!! Don't be too hard on yourself!

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  8. {{Stomping feet}} It's so freaking unfair! I am so sorry Janet :(

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  9. Aww I am sorry hun. Thinking about you. Facebook is bad news I have decided.

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  10. Thinking of you Janet. I hope that you feel better soon and I REALLY hope that your uterus would decide to cooperate a little.

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  11. Sending lots of hugs your way!! xo

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  12. i'm so sorry, janet!! damn, facebook. facebook is crazy, sometimes! i remember getting lots of those reminders on my phone and fb. i threw my phone across the room many of times. i love that you allow yourself to feel what you feel. i hope the weekend got brighter! and yay for indian food. steve and i were just talking about indian food. i was craving some over the weekend...love the spice!
    i hope your monday is a happy one, my friend! xoxoxox
    maria

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  13. UGH, I'm so sorry. Thinking of and praying for you. Peace.

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  14. Screw you, FB.

    They say that love has no pride, but it's really infertility that has no pride. I'm right there with you friend.

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