A Moment. Not A Proud One.

It's been an incredibly productive day.

I was up early and I've crossed many things off of my very lengthy "To do List". Adam and I ordered Indian for dinner, we caught up on some television. Adam left to pickup/drop off my niece. I was alone. I logged onto Facebook....

Then it happened.

Every. Single. Time. that I've logged into Facebook the past few days from my phone (which is how I normally log into Facebook) I've been greeted with the "Total Pregnancy Canada" app in big, bold, bright, can't miss em letters & pictures. Every. Single. Time. I've tried to ignore it and quickly scroll past.

Tonight I did not succeed. I stared at that app. It stared back.

I burst into hot, angry, snotty tears.

Today is 10 dpo. Ten days ago I saw the most positive OPK that I've ever seen. We covered the days leading up to, of and past with gusto.  I was feeling good. I was feeling positive. Then I had that dream, followed by another last night, followed by a very negative test this morning.

It hurts. It just hurts.

I had a meltdown. Not a proud moment.

Facebook...my empty, hostile uterus says "Up yours".


  1. Ugh. Friend...I'm so sorry. :( Stupid FB and its day-ruining capabilities. Stupid worthless uteruses. Stupid OPKs. Stupid everything. :(

  2. I'm sorry...sending lots of hugs. I hope this cycle surprises you!

  3. Make that a double: FB...UP YOURS!

    Every time I log on I get the advertisement that says, "How To Get Pregnant Fast: I struggled with infertility for three years until I discovered this. Click for a step-by-step guide". Ummmmm.... No thanks!

    I feel the pain. Hang in there girl.

  4. Ugh...what an emotional cycle (literally and figuratively). Facebook is evil and mean. But then, apparently so is life sometimes. Have a glass of wine, take a hot bath, or watch a stupid movie. In other words, take care of yourself.

  5. Face book is always suggesting awful things to me too. Most recently how to reduce my belly fat- I flip off my phone and face book on nearly a daily basis. Hang in there, friend!

  6. I'm so sorry Janet. Facebook can suck it. Sending huge hugs.

  7. Meltdowns are totally ok!! Don't be too hard on yourself!

  8. {{Stomping feet}} It's so freaking unfair! I am so sorry Janet :(

  9. Aww I am sorry hun. Thinking about you. Facebook is bad news I have decided.

  10. Thinking of you Janet. I hope that you feel better soon and I REALLY hope that your uterus would decide to cooperate a little.

  11. Sending lots of hugs your way!! xo

  12. i'm so sorry, janet!! damn, facebook. facebook is crazy, sometimes! i remember getting lots of those reminders on my phone and fb. i threw my phone across the room many of times. i love that you allow yourself to feel what you feel. i hope the weekend got brighter! and yay for indian food. steve and i were just talking about indian food. i was craving some over the weekend...love the spice!
    i hope your monday is a happy one, my friend! xoxoxox

  13. UGH, I'm so sorry. Thinking of and praying for you. Peace.

  14. Screw you, FB.

    They say that love has no pride, but it's really infertility that has no pride. I'm right there with you friend.


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