There is such a thing as growing out of our baggage. When we go through a big change it can force us to see ourselves differently, or help us to realize something that has been hurtful all along. A sudden change in perspective gives us a gift in that we lose our blindness to many things that have become habit. It’s like hitting a reset button on ourselves, one that brings great opportunity for growth that might otherwise have taken years to arrive at.

This perspective change also comes from a dedication to personal growth. When we constantly work on ourselves and commit to attaining happiness, confidence and peace, we confront a lot of the pains that plague us, and with time, dispel them. Because we bond with certain people based on shared issues, when we grow things just won’t fit as well anymore. Relationships, social habits, even jobs or hobbies. Sometimes we find that we must move on, as the self we have shed was our only tie to this thing. It can be sad and confusing to let go, especially when it comes to people you love.

If it’s too painful to let go, it doesn’t mean that we have to say goodbye for good. There just needs to be an interim time of reestablishing new ways of relating to one-another. It can be awkward and painful when another attempts to relate to you in old ways. The most important thing to do is trust your gut when it’s telling you “ouch!” When you feel hurt, you feel hurt. When you feel uncomfortable, you feel uncomfortable. That is a reality and therefor you should respect and react to it. If something is not making you feel good, you shouldn’t make yourself hang around it. Do what you need to do to remove yourself from the situation, whether it means creating a diversion or creating an excuse. Until you’re able to do something without it bringing up painful feelings, it’s best not to do it at all. Once we gain a good amount of distance, we can better see things objectively and old wounds won’t feel so tender to the touch.

Personal growth and change is never a bad thing and should never be regretted. It’s about survival and deciding you value your life and your self enough to cease the things that hurt you. Remember that you need to first love yourself in order to properly love others. Only then can you identify and build relationships with others based on positives vs. negatives. To take care of and protect yourself is not selfish or petty, it is brave and enlightening. It is the path to seeing reality clearly, and making sense of the world around you. And when we grow and change often those we love will see it and follow. Other times, our growth will lead us to a new place that’s better than we could have ever imagined. One that rewards our health and helps us to thrive.


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