How To Be A Badass

Yes, I am a grown ass woman. Yes, I have a very (had) "adult" job and yes, I still face bullies. Their tactics get more insidious as you get older but bullies are still out there. They may be long time players or they may just be hitting their bullying stride as people who were formerly victims and seeking revenge on the world. Regardless, they can be easily managed. I am so over them. Now get those Chumbawumba lyrics in your head and get ready to "get up again" with these simple pieces of armor.

All bullies have a weak spot
Remember when Buffy finally had the “a ha!” moment with Turok Han, the ubervamps? Well, even they can be dusted. You just need to cut off his head. My point is not that you should cut off a bully’s head or kill him/her but simply that everyone has their vulnerable spot. This is comforting to know deep down when you are facing a bully. I repeat, do not try to literally cut off his/her head (just know that you could).

All bullies are afraid of something and usually that is what drives them to bully
Bullies commonly feel bad about themselves and thus need to knock you down. I know all of our parents told us this but I swear it’s true. Those pretty girls who try to make you feel ugly and nerdy? I guarantee you that they cry as they stare into the mirror for hours at home every now and then.

Bullies, like sharks, get super pumped when they smell blood
I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to act totally unaware of any bullying being thrown your way. Much like some animals "play dead", it is important to act rather bored when a bully comes at you. Not bored with a sassy teen attitude but just plain bored as in "nothing is happening right now". If they see you un-phased, they quickly move on.

Bullies get confused when people are just nice to them
It’s pretty true. They are used to people scurrying around, being scared. When they are addressed as a fellow mere human, they are often just stunned into submission. Asking them about their weekend, their hobbies, remembering something about their family… all of this stuns them into treating you like a human right back. At least for a bit.

Remember that rising above the conflict and bullying shenanigans is what makes the real badass. Bullying is easy; staying above it takes a strong person.

There you have it...You are a cool, level-headed badass. Now go enjoy feeling free from that nonsense...Bullying is so boring.


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