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Keeping Secrets

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I've been keeping a secret. I'm not even going to make you wait. I'm just going to come out and say it. I really don't like when people say, "Hey, I have news" and then ramble on for fifteen minutes about how they didn't know how to tell you, and would you like the good news or the bad news first. I mean, if you don't know how to tell me, then maybe you should have thought about it a little bit more before you brought it up, because now I'm just sitting here waiting while you find the perfect words to share news that...let's be honest...probably doesn't impact me in the slightest. And as for the good news/bad news question? What do you think? If you're really asking, I'd rather not hear the bad news at all. Because who wants to hear bad news? Unless it's just "bad" relative to the good news, but not really all that bad in its own right, well then I guess I wouldn't mind hearing it. And I might like to hear it first...
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The Penis Monolouges Part 1

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Lochlan is still spending a great deal of energy examining the male/female thing. We are in the car on our way home from daycare. “Daddy has a penis?” Loch asks. “Yes.” “I have a penis?” “Yes you do.” “Does Poppy have a penis?” “Yes.” “You don’t have a penis.” “No, I do not.” “Do Marshall, Rocky and Zuma have a penis?” “Um, no.” “But Marshall, Rocky and Zuma are boys. They have a penis.” “Marshall, Rocky and Zuma are pretend, not boys.” “Marshall, Rocky and Zuma are boys. They have a boy penis! They are not pretend! I saw them on my iPad!" “I’m sorry, you’re right. The Paw Patrollers have a penis.” “Bob the Builder? Does Bob the Builder have a penis?” “Uh… yes?” "Where do they keep their penis" "Ummmm" "I know...in the lookout and garage" "Sounds about right Lochlan"
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