Mannequin Madness

I have a confession to make. I recently molested a mannequin.

I was at the mall yesterday on my lunch break to buy socks when I got a little distracted. By a dress. With sparkles and sequins and beads and all kinds of awesomeness. And I had to try it on. But of course the only dress in my size was on the of those creepy looking headless, armless, legless ones with the hanger coming out of its neck.

I felt all kinds of bad undressing her in public, but I was without a doubt going to rock that dress, so my actions were completely justified. I never made it to the dressing room, however, because after undressing Ms. Mannequin, I held it up to myself and it was way bigger than it looked on the mannequin, and did I mention it had sparkles and sequins and beading? Honestly, what was I thinking?

I couldn't let her stand there all naked and exposed. That would be inappropriate. So then I had to re-dress the mannequin, which was way harder than undressing her. And much more embarrassing. For the both of us. There was much groping of her lady business just to get the dress past her butt and hips. And I was all, “I’m so sorry. I should have you dressed in just a minute.”

But it took way longer than a minute, and the groping was getting out of control and my face got red, because, seriously, I’m molesting a mannequin. And it got worse before it got better. In fact, there was no better. Because I lost my balance a little. And fell forward. Just a little. But just far enough for my lips to Brush. Her. Breast. I was embarrassed, the mannequin totally got turned on. It was all sorts of awkward. And that's when the sales lady noticed what I was doing. I muttered an apology to the half dressed mannequin and made a quick dash for the exit before she called mall security. 

Tomorrow I think that I'll eat lunch at work.

Vintage Style Corset Laced Mannequin by Corset Laced Mannequin via Etsy


  1. Hee hee! What a cute story! Had me smiling all the way through. :)


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