During a recent conversation I had with a friend, we discussed how difficult it is to watch your friends and or family do things that are clearly bad for them because no matter how much advice you offer, it is seldom followed.

It’s fair to say that we’ve all been through this. You see them going down a path that has you shaking your head the whole time, and no matter how many times you tell them what to do, your advice falls on deaf ears.

I’ve done some unsavory things in my life and I can only imagine how my best friends and family felt about them. There have only been a few times when they've openly shared exactly how they felt about my actions. In fact, I find it important to note that for many things, they not passed harsh judgment on me. I feel we have an understanding that we’re all grown up enough to know the possible consequences of our actions. We know that we don’t need each other’s approval for anything we do, but what we will always need from each other is...unconditional support.

Unconditional support is what you give your friends and family because no one else has the capacity or understanding to offer it. You give this because you understand that people are going to do things that don’t fall under categories of things you find acceptable.

We’re all going to do some silly things in life and we’re going to need someone on our side. We are going to make mistakes and we learn from them the best when we aren’t being scolded or made to feel ashamed.

When someone walks through your errors with you, you can review your actions through a new lens. As humans, we have the misfortune of only ever knowing anything about life via our limited experience. This makes it difficult for us to see things the way others do and that is why we don’t often understand why some friends give the advice that they do. We take things the wrong way, we feel offended, and we fail to see, sometimes, that they want the best for us.

We are going to be stressed out about a lot of things. We’re going to disapprove of certain pregnancies, certain boyfriends, certain career moves, or any moves at all that make us feel uncomfortable, uncertain, and afraid.

If we only ever choose to be supportive, it could really change the dynamic in our relationships. However, being supportive doesn’t mean that you automatically approve of what happens. You can make that clear: I support you, but I don’t approve of this, personally. But I love you and I only ever want to know that you’re okay and safe and happy.

Not easy at all. But let's be honest...life is never ever truly easy. You will know you’ve someone great by your side when they can openly tell you that something doesn’t seem right and still never lose having them by your side.

I'm thankful for the unconditional love and support I have in my life...every single day.


  1. Unconditional love and support... That is something I still work on daily and is not my best quality for sure. I would almost say it is my weakest link. It is so hard for me to sit back and watch people that I love make horrible and/or destructive decisions. But, that thinking is so unfair because I have also been there and made questionable decisions in my life. Like I said, I work on this daily and hope that one day it is a strong quality of mine.

  2. Amen! I couldn't have said it better myself.


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