Why I Can Never Go To Australia
I'm not going to lie (and I'm terrible at it anyway) I have been struggling lately. Struggling with life/work/making a JaAdam baby...you know...all of that life stuff. We have been on a baby making break since March when we lost our embryos and while the break has been good, it's also been very hard. In a few weeks I'll start the last round of blood work and testing before we take another kick at the proverbial "IVF 2.0" can late next month and I am excited, I really am but on the flip side...I'm terrified about what's coming my way. Add to that, my broken foot and resulting inability to rock climb, take my long walks/runs and an insane work schedule - I am not sleeping well and I often find myself wide awake into the wee hours. There has however been an unexpected advantage of this insomnia of mine.
Late night TV - wow - it's been educating me. Take this for example.
Last night I stumbled upon a story aaround 3 am about an Australian man who has collected -I can barely type this - and kept 26 years worth of - give me strength - belly button lint. I had to type that in smaller letters lest I faint or keel over. Why would anyone collect such a thing?
Before I had a chance to run, far, far away...they showed it. By this time, I was staggering to the phone to call for assistance but was able to revive myself once I was out of earshot of the television. Quite obviously, I am not comfortable with belly button lint (or spiders or clowns or masks). I will now boycott the entire country of Australia (continent, or merely country...will someone finally clear this up) as punishment.
Good thing, since I will probably never get there in the first place. It's way too long a flight. Plus, once on the plane, I would be focusing on my memory of the lint - three colors, three jars - and, as a result, I would be a wreck. Plus, once I arrived, some boxing kangaroos might try to punch me...so, all in all, Australia is now off limits.
So I say to the TV...I just might have innocently travelled to Australia...you saved me from the lint and for that I say "Thank you".
Late night TV - wow - it's been educating me. Take this for example.
Last night I stumbled upon a story aaround 3 am about an Australian man who has collected -I can barely type this - and kept 26 years worth of - give me strength - belly button lint. I had to type that in smaller letters lest I faint or keel over. Why would anyone collect such a thing?
Before I had a chance to run, far, far away...they showed it. By this time, I was staggering to the phone to call for assistance but was able to revive myself once I was out of earshot of the television. Quite obviously, I am not comfortable with belly button lint (or spiders or clowns or masks). I will now boycott the entire country of Australia (continent, or merely country...will someone finally clear this up) as punishment.
Good thing, since I will probably never get there in the first place. It's way too long a flight. Plus, once on the plane, I would be focusing on my memory of the lint - three colors, three jars - and, as a result, I would be a wreck. Plus, once I arrived, some boxing kangaroos might try to punch me...so, all in all, Australia is now off limits.
So I say to the TV...I just might have innocently travelled to Australia...you saved me from the lint and for that I say "Thank you".
* In all seriousness - I'd travel to Australia in a heartbeat if I could - I hear it's amazing there *
how about Borneo instead? http://www.theborneopost.com/2011/05/11/kuching-to-host-first-clown-convention-in-2013/
ReplyDeleteMy husband says that Australia is off limits too. Huntsmen Spiders. If you're an arachnophobe, do not google it!
ReplyDeleteI googled it - I shouldn't have!
ReplyDeleteNooooo... don't let crazy people like that put you off ! The other millions of us are really normal... and so many beautiful places to visit :) The flights not too bad with a stopover and a few wines... it's worth it, really :) If you do come... let me know and I'll show you around my little part of Oz :)) xoxo
ReplyDeletenasty. people have issues. as for you, it must be so tough to not have an outlet to deal with the stress even a tiny bit. do you ever go for massages? instant de-stressor in my eyes.
ReplyDelete