Unaccustomed & A Bright Spot
Unaccustomed - adjective - not familiar or usual; out of the ordinary. That's how I feel about 'good news'. I'm so used to being on the receiving end of bad news that I must admit...I've become very unaccustomed to that magical thing called 'good news' so when I headed to my fertility clinic yesterday afternoon, I was trying to prepare myself for what I was sure was going to be 'bad news'.
Bad news is what I know when it comes to the state of my hostile uterus. The last three years plus seem like one big bundle of bad news (interspersed with a spot of two of good - but mostly bad). I shed a tear (or two) in the car on my way to the clinic and I was a bundle of nerves by the time they called me back. It was awful. I wanted to run far, far away from the clinic as fast as I could. I wished with every fiber of my being to be anywhere else but there even as the rational part of my mind told me I needed to be here. This needed to happen.
I walked back quietly, head down, softly responding "I'm good thanks" to her friendly question of "How are you today?". They set up, I changed and we were ready to go.
I never once gave my usual pep talk to myself about how things were going to be fine. I was resigned for the bad. Just hit me with it. Let's get this over so I can go about my day.
To my utter surprise I was met with a spot of good news...
Uterus - looks fantastic.
Right tube - open.
Left tube - open.
I started to cry and I cried a little more when the doctor pulled up a chair, put his hand on my shoulder and offered a few words of encouragement.
I'm not broken. This can happen.