I Am Working So Hard

…at trying to disguise the effects that Dexamethasone, Estrogen and an upcoming Frozen Embryo Transfer have on my body.

My head, heart and soul are in a really good place this cycle.  At the beginning of the cycle, I wondered, “Should I go into the cycle with really high hopes, putting all of my positive vibes out there into the Universe?  Should I go back to that place where I was?  Hoping, praying, believing?  Or, should I have NO expectations so that the possible let down won’t be as intense?  What’s better?  How should I mentally prepare myself?  Am I up for this?  What is the best approach?”

The answer?  I stopped myself in my own tracks and I turned it over.  I needed to STOP over thinking it.  I needed to take my medicine and to do absolutely nothing else other than to make sure that I am enjoying and appreciating life, my friends and family...every single day.  Sure, I am staying positive, but these days what’s swimming around in my head is a lot more peaceful than the desperate hand-wringing, begging, pleading and “what ifs” that were there before.
So, tomorrow morning I have an appointment to check my uterine lining and start the PIO injections and we’ll take it from there. My challenge is going to be to keep this good mojo going throughout the next few days. But, for today, I’m letting that go.  I’m not going to think about it too much.


  1. the dex really got to me by the end but it worked so stay positive. The weight gain (if you get any) takes about the same amount of time to disappear as it took to go on.

    Estrogen - no side effects apart from sticker marks on my butt :)

    I have everything crossed for you

  2. It sounds like you are in a really good place. I hope your appointment goes well tomorrow and that your embryos are fine despite the traveling issues. Best of luck!

  3. It's so hard not to over think it... and to balance staying optimistic with trying to be realistic (aka protect ourselves from hurt). Thinking of you for your appt tomorrow xoxo

  4. Good luck with the peace of mind, so hard to quiet it sometimes! Keeping absolutely everything crossed for you Janet.

  5. I think that's the best thing to do - just stop the over-thinking and do your best to stay in the moment. It's definitely hard at times but I've found it the most helpful. Good luck!

  6. That's good advice for yourself - Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel. I think it only adds pressure if you think you have to maintain a positive attitude through all of this. Keeping my fingers crossed for you!

  7. What will be will be. You stay positive and in the moment, and let us do the praying/hand wringing/Universe begging for you. :)

  8. Definitely the best approach. It's hard to do sometimes, but you should do it as long as you can! I'm glad you're able to stay in the moment right now, fingers crossed for you!

  9. Good for you, that's the best. Over thinking is a killer! I say that from experience :-) Keep it up and all the best for you! This has to work, period.

  10. Oh love. You definitely need to allow yourself to be sad. You have had an awful trot the last few months.

    I had a week of being sad. I needed it. Then my friends organised a day out for me and it was a turning corner. Being with people I loved helped me start to come out of my cave of grief.

    1. This was written on the wrong blog post. So sorry.


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