Standing On The Edge

Today is Cycle day 2. I know...exciting right? And here you thought today was just a regular ol' boring Tuesday! Surprise! 

What this means is that we can now get things in motion for yet another frozen embryo transfer...which will also be our last frozen embryo transfer. We have two embryos left from our fresh cycle last summer so whether this cycle ends positively (fingers crossed) or negatively (which has kind of been our thang, yo) it will really be...our last FET.

Why am I signing up for this emotional shite-coaster again? - If you barfed your first time on The Behemoth, that means you should ride it again as soon as possible! Step right up, strap in, and let’s get nauseous! Is it because I have some weird subprimal urge to parent something small? Because I'm insane? The definition of insanity is "Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results". So it looks like insanity is a definite possibility.

If I'm being completely honest, I'm kind of enjoying my Infertility Vacation. But frankly, there’s more to it. I'm terrified of going through this again. There are a plethora of emotions that surface when standing on the edge of a new cycle. Some good, some bad. I try my best to deal with them as they come and honestly, I don't always do such a bang up job. But I am stubborn enough to get back up and go...again, and again, and again. Hmmmm, I sense a little...insanity.

Perhaps I think it won’t hurt as bad if it fails again, because I will know what to expect this time. Right? Right? Am I ready to once again step over the edge? 

Standing On the Edge by Mina


  1. Yahoo! I'll be thinking about you and sending lots of good thoughts your way!

  2. It is terrifying to start a new cycle. Always listen to that little voice in the back of your head saying 'this could be it' because this COULD BE IT. Best wishes for a smooth FET cycle!!

  3. good luck, i am going through a very similar experience as you. Next month I will be starting my 3rd and final FET. Each FET you have had has been at the same time as me. You have been my unknowing infertility friend.

  4. I keep doing it over and over too...but I get different results every time. I guess I'm more like the rat that keeps pushing the button because it doesn't know if it is going to get a pellet or an electric shock. ;)

  5. I am hoping this is it for you.....last time yielded a different, better result right? Here's hoping these things just keep getting better, maybe your body finally got a taste of where things are supposed to of and this next on IS IT. Thinking of you guys.

  6. Good luck - fingers crossed for you all the way :)

  7. love your positive attitude! fingers crossed of course for you. hoping that a new clinic with a new set of eyes and brains will help you!


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