You Just Need To Relax

“You just need to relax. Then you’ll get pregnant”
I've heard this one a lot. Thanks for this valuable tidbit! I once again heard this today when talking to someone that I barely know (a friend of a friend) that apparently knew that we have been struggling to get pregnant which is cool. I’ve been pretty open and honest about our struggle. I am not ashamed.
I had no idea that was all it took to get pregnant! And to think, this entire time I’ve been trying IVF and frozen embryo transfers, not to mention copious amounts of infertility drugs!  I really missed the memo on that one. Damn.
Just for the record…taking a week long vacation to Jamaica and sitting on the beach is not going to magically impregnate me. It may have worked for a friend of your cousin Bob but that doesn’t mean it will work for everyone. If a vacation was all it took, trust me, I wouldn’t have spent thousands of dollars on IVF and instead gone on vacation! In all fairness to Jamaica I’ve never been and maybe the island does have magically impregnate powers. I'm also pretty sure it’s a lot more fun that a cycle or two of In Vitro Fertilization. Hmmm..."Adam, want to go to Jamaica?"
The #1 reason to never, ever say this to someone is pretty obvious.  If I told you, “You just need to lose weight, then you’ll get pregnant,” I’m basically calling you fat. By you telling me to relax, you’re basically calling me uptight. Your “tip” is really just an insult, masquerading as bad advice.
The other gem that was passed along was “Have you tried putting your legs up in the air?”
Ah, another gem for the “Captain Obvious” category. I can’t even count how many people have told me this. Putting your legs in the air after sex, when you’re trying to get pregnant, is right up there with arranging deck chairs on a fast sinking cruise ship. It might make you feel better, and will make the deck look orderly, but it won’t be the big thing that makes a difference.

I am always willing and accepting of advice that people want to pass along. I know that they mean well and then have the best intentions so please…keep them coming. It’s always great for a laugh and I can use some laughter in my life!

Relax Pillow by Honey Pie Design via Etsy


  1. grrr, why are people so dumb? I also love 'have you thought about adoption?', no, in 3.5 years it NEVER crossed my mind!! I'd be awesome if people could just keep their thoughts to themselves sometimes :)

  2. I second that grrrrr.... imagine if you told someone with MS, or cancer to just relax and it would magically go away. Some people are clueless.

  3. I called bullshit when my mom gave me the "Maybe you should adopt and then you'll get pregnant!" line the other day. So today she calls me with two examples of friends of her friends who have adopted and gotten pregnant a couple months later. Gee, thanks mom. I'm sure just hearing those two examples will immediately rid me of my PCOS and I'll start ovulating on my own!

    That Jamaican vacation sure does sound nice, though, doesn't it


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